Silent Sunday

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Bloated? What? Me!

So it seems there is something else I don’t quite understand. That perhaps a woman of my age should, something the media keeps telling me I must have. What could this be, what must I have since I am a busy woman of certain years who runs round trying to juggle everything at once?

Well let me set the scene..

Currently there is an ad on the TV here in NZ of a former NZ Miss Universe, (Yes really we did actually win one once in the early 80’s.. Coincidentally it was when NZ was starting to go Nuclear free and with the contest being held in the States.... well I am not one on conspiracies theories but....) who is wearing a lovely silk evening gown going on about how sometimes she has to wear this but would rather be wearing this... Next shot she is shown in comfy clothes and somehow by eating this “magic” yoghurt she feels so much better and confident to wear the dress and life is so much better for it!

So it seems, since I am being told daily, I too must have that “bloated, uncomfortable” feeling, where I want to go about all day wearing comfy clothes as heaven forbid you just can’t wear fitting clothes when feeling bloated! I too should be eating\drinking those little bottles of “magic yoghurt” that will fix everything and make my day so much better.

But here is the problem; CAN someone actually tell me what this “bloated” feeling is? What are these women on the telly and in the magazines all going on about?? As I really have no idea!!

Now don’t get me wrong, my diet is not always the best, I do feel bloated and at times do feel a bit uncomfortable wearing fitting clothing but that is generally just after I have eaten a rather large meal, followed by such goodies as dessert, coffee and wine. In my case it is always self inflicted and it always it resolves itself the next morning by the way nature intended. But a day to day feeling of being bloated, no I don’t understand that. Surely if you are feeling a bit uncomfortable doesn’t a wee fart or popping to the toilet normally resolve issues?  According to some “scientific” research conducted women apparently still have an issue admitting that they fart? So if an average person can or needs to fart up to 14 times a day and its not happening where is all that gas going? Yes people, shocking news isn’t it but everyone does it, even the Queen so I’ve been told!

Surely I cannot be the only woman out there that has no idea what they are going on about?

Of course I can’t help thinking, and as I said before I am not into conspiracy theories but.....

Think how prevalent these yoghurts\drinks are now, perhaps these big corporations have stumbled onto a money making machine caused by our busy lifestyles?  Perhaps instead of "needing" these yogurts\drinks all we need to do is to eat properly, listen to our bodies a bit more....... and have that occasional sneaky fart!

Help, I 'm turning into one of those mums....!!

Heaven help me, who would have thought it? But it seems that I am slowly turning into one of those mums... You know those shouty mouthy mums who take their little darlings to their sports every week and then decide to shout at them and tell them how to play? In our case it’s the nearly 6 year olds first season of playing hockey. Its proper hockey with sticks and mouth guards and I am finding myself on the sidelines yelling at him “to hit the ball”, “watch the ball” and my favourite “what are you standing there for?”! So while I stand there getting all hot and bothered about it he is nonchalantly standing there, singing to himself or using his hockey stick as a ninja sword or light sabre.. Arrgghhhh!!!

Quite ironic really as I have been spending the last couple of weeks telling everyone about an annoying shouty dad at swimming! Who likes to yell in his very obvious accent (let’s just say he is from a very, very, large country in the north Atlantic!!) swimming instructions to his son while he is having a lesson.

Hmmm, what can I say other than “hello pot this is kettle”!!

To make matters even worse is that I have no idea what he should be doing as I have never played a game of hockey in my life. I have had to watch a few games (under duress I may add...), due to Mr P having played it since he was a nipper but that’s it! So not only am I the shouty mum shouting at her son I am also the shouty mum who actually has no idea what she is shouting about!!

How bad is that??

I suppose we can blame my slightly competitive nature, yes I like to win or to at least do well if I can’t win. So I want the same for my sons, I want them to do well, their very best.  I know the nearly 6 year old can do better, that he can actually hit the ball quite well, I just want him to do it on the field each week!  Mr P is quite relaxed about it all and thinks it will just sort itself out and the game will just click for him. I hope so and if it doesn’t then fine at least he tried...

My sister who watched his games last weekend was “polite” enough to point out that he is not the only one on the field looking like he can’t be bothered.  Mind you I don’t think the parents of the children she was pointing out where that impressed with her pointing this out!

So Mr P thinks it is best that I give the games a miss for the next few weeks.  Just so the nearly 6 year old can ease himself into the game without his fishwife of a mother shouting at him.  

Good news, it should give me enough time to read the hockey rule book......

Silent Sunday

For more great Silent Sunday posts pop yourself over to Love All Blogs...

Silent Sunday

For more great Silent Sunday posts pop yourself over to Love All Blogs...

“You did WHAT with the Lego”

If you are a hardened Lego geek then this post comes with a warning.  As this post contains Lego and glue, yes that’s right Lego and glue!

So you may be thinking “What are you doing!!”  But as I sit surrounded by boxes of Lego, instructions and glue on my table it all makes perfect sense to me.   That I have had enough, no more will I have to hear cries of “Mummy Lightening McQueen is broken can you fix him” or “Mummy where is the rest of my (..Insert any name of a fiddly piece of Lego...)!!”   Now I don’t mean gluing together your general Lego blocks I am talking about the kits, Star Wars, Cars 2, Ninjago, Super Heroes, Lego City etc.  You know the expensive bits of Lego that you painfully put together only for them to be broken 10 minutes later.  Then the painful cycle begins... rebuild....play.....break....cry....rebuild...play.....break.......cry.....

I don’t care if the main reason that Lego is a favourite toy worldwide is because of the ability to reuse the bricks to build new things.  Quite simply I have had it!  There are only so many times one can rebuild a Star Wars fighter, helicopter etc before one completely loses the plot with the dam stuff. 

Now don’t get me wrong I do love Lego myself and can spend hours playing with it.  After all I am the designated Lego builder in our household and enjoy nothing better than getting a new kit and putting it together.  Perhaps that is why I get so anxious when the boys start playing with it knowing that they will eventually break it.

So over the last few months as the boys attentions have gone from one piece to another I have secretly hidden them away.  Plotting on how I am going to do this, waiting until the time is right when I can sit and glue the pieces together.    

So time for a gut check, do I still think it’s a good idea? Yes.  Do the boys think I am crazy? Yes.....   Does Mr P think I am bonkers? Yes... Do I want to back out? No....!  It just needs to be done for my sanity if nothing else....

So here goes.....

PS.  Here’s a tip just in case you think “wow what a great idea”.  Don’t glue the piece completely together, leave a few pieces unglued so if it drops it will break but not shatter...

Argh, Daylight bloody Savings.......!!!

So it's week two since out clocks went back and I think you can guess by the title of this post that I am less than impressed by it!  The reason being is a certain little person in our household who seems to be stuck on NZ summertime so he thinks its okay to wake at 5am!!

Yes the one who is almost 3 hasn't quite got his body clock sorted yet so we have the pleasure of him waking the household every morning at 5ish by turning on all the lights and asking “Why is it dark mummy?”  Needless to say it's taking its toll on both of us.  The other two males in the house seem to have that ability that all males have which is to sleep thru any noise created by a small person in the night.  You know the one, “Huh noise, oh crap, roll over, optional fart or itch, then back to sleep” You may think that this is a rather generic statement but I am sure it just doesn’t happen in our household?

So he is permanently cranky and I am a walking zombie (also cranky) who is craving a lie in to say, oh I don’t know, 6am perhaps...

It doesn’t help either that prior to the clocks going back he was managing to go a couple of days without his daytime nap so he is still trying to do that.  “I don’t need to sleep mummy as I am a big boy now” Oh those words are coming back to haunt me now...

So it goes without saying that he is a walking screaming tantrum throwing tyrant at the moment.  Bless his little cotton socks!

  

Of course in between the tantrums there are a few comic moments like when he falls asleep while eating his lunch or when he totally crashes where ever he was playing with his brother.

Oh I was so looking forward to the holidays and lying in until after 7.  Letting them sleep and to naturally wake up, to have a leisurely breakfast and morning together.  But no the tyrant seems to have other plans for me.

But really, 10 days in and we both need more sleep and he needs to get himself sorted or else I will be medicating both of us...