Finally......

Woo hoo, we are in....  Finally after 5 months of living out of suitcases and turning my sister’s life and house upside down we are finally in our own place.  Okay, perhaps at this stage it is more the banks then ours but nonetheless we now have a place to call home.

All our stuff survived the boat trip out from the UK, all 202 boxes with nothing broken or damaged.  It is utterly amazing how much junk you accumulate and then pay to get shipped across the other side of the world!  Of course there has to be a reason why the broken laptop made its way out here!  Or why the movers thought we would want the broken door handles from our old kitchen or keys to the back door?  Then there are the heavy duty winter coats and boots we have.  Not really needed where the average winter temperature in this city is 11 degrees (Celsius).  We could make use of them and go skiing but since I have a pure hatred of snow brought on by the last five winters in London I don’t think that will be happening any time sort.  Mr P is yet to explain why he thought we would need the snow shovel and sled!

Also I am absolutely sure I cleaned everything before we left but apparently the yoghurt stains on the sofas (don’t worry they are leather) have proven me to be a lair.  The only thing that seems to be missing is a broom and feather duster but I can and have lived without them before.  The boys are ecstatic of course to have all their toys, not to mention their own bedrooms again.

Some things are a bit weird, like seeing all our furniture from London in totally new surroundings.  Going to redial a number on our phone and seeing all our London friends’ numbers or the number to our old local Chinese.  Where once I would be typing this and looking out at a magnolia tree in full spring bloom I am now looking out at palm trees and listening to the noisy sound of cicadas.  It may sound tropical but it is still suburbia... 

I still do not have the settled feeling and still have many decisions to make for myself but at least now I can do it knowing we have a place of our own and that the boys are happy. 

I still wish that we had settled back in Wellington not Auckland as that is where we are from but hey shit happens.  As they say “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth”, we were lucky enough to get out here as quick as we did with a job for Mr P. 

So chin chin, here’s to the next 10 or so years in Auckland.  Lets hope they are as good to us as the years in London were...

Oh shit the boys.......!!

So I had a moment the other day, it was a true “save yourself” moment. Just for a split second or two, okay maybe five I was just concerned about myself.  A true moment where I actually forgot about my little treasures (aka the boys)!


So picture the scene....

There we were in a beautiful secluded bay on one of the islands about an hour out of Auckland. The water was so clear that you could see the sandy bottom beneath. Sounds almost perfect right?  Apart from the fact it was so bloody cold!  Typically we picked the worse day of a long weekend to have a family outing on the boat.  We had the day planned out, stopping along the way for a bit of fishing, then stopping at a bay for lunch and a swim.  Generally getting the boys used to being out and about on the water.

So anyway there we were playing in the water, trying to convince the boys that it was warm while covered in goose bumps and trying not to mutter too loudly about how frigging cold it was.  Then I spotted something out of the corner of my eye. 

"Hmmm that’s strange" I thought, "what’s that?"  

So I looked again and there swimming towards me (I am so sure it was after me) was a large black shape.  Did I mention how clear the water was?  Then the panic truly set in.  

“FUCK, there is something in the water” I screamed while running like a lunatic out of the water. 

Then I heard something that was a bit like hitting a brick wall, “mummy, mummy, MUMMY!”  Oh SHIT the boys, oh the shame, oh the bad mother guilt!

On turning round and looking back in the water, Son Number 1 looked close to tears with his arms stretched out and Son Number 2 was looking his usual confused self trying to get a closer look at what was now swimming around them.  As there were now not one but two black shapes enjoying the water with them! 

So after quickly recomposing myself, the brave and dignified person that I am, went back into the water to rescue the boys.  While trying to avoid what turned out to be two stingrays that had decided to spend their afternoon in the same secluded bay as us. 

So hit with the double whammy of freezing water and the stingrays the rest of the afternoon passed pretty much uneventful on the beach.  Where Son number 1 had to do his first poo in the bush in true Kiwi style and I had to wee behind a tree because there was no way either of us was going back into the water unless it was time to leave. 

Oh and before you think he was going to poo in the water, there is a loo on the boat.....

So here we are......

So hello there, yes it’s been a while hasn’t it? 

We are now 3 weeks back to being in New Zealand, slowly getting settled and so far so good...

The flight over wasn’t too bad with the boys, all 29 hours of it!  Never underestimate the power of Chupa Chups lollipops and Cars 2.  The first kept them entertained during the all so tedious checking in and security process. Of course much more were demanded for takeoff and landing.  The latter kept them entertained on the flight, in between eating (more sweets and chocolate, they didn't want any of the airline food!) and sleeping they were glued to their little screens.  It didn’t matter that Son No 2 couldn’t get to grips with the head phones so just spent the time watching it with no sound.  He was happy so we were happy.

Once we got here the first two weeks were spent travelling around the country visiting family, so more flights and Chupa Chups for the boys.  Perhaps, now thinking about it, the overload of sweets may of been the cause of Son No 1 couple of bouts of air sickness?  We also had a bit of an eating frenzy, eating everything that we missed while in the UK.   The boys it seems have already slipped into the laidback lifestyle here, playing in the surf at various beaches, eating ice creams and running around in bare feet seems quite normal for them now.

Needless to say the visiting and feeding frenzy is now over and we are now getting some sense of normality back into our lives.  Mr P has started work; Son No 1 is in school which is a bloody godsend even if it is only for 4 weeks until its summer holidays over here.  He was getting quite unbearable and annoying, does that make me a bad mother saying that? No, just honest I think, as there is nothing quite like a bored 5 year old to tip you over the edge!  Even he wanted to start school.  I have even managed to find a childminder to look after Son No 2 for a couple of days a week so I can get some much needed me time.  Some time to think about what I am going to do now.  You know those questions that always seem to be lurking in the back of your mind.  Do I work, if so part time or full time work?  Do I do some courses instead?  Can I really be bothered to join a gym?  Should i sneak off and have another cream donut?   Or is it just me that thinks these things?

In the meantime I have a much neglected blog that needs some loving and need to find us a home before we drive my sister and her partner around the bend.....

My week that was...

So in terms of surviving I am not talking a major natural disaster or catastrophe event here, but nonetheless for us it was a pretty big deal. I went to Bangkok for a week for my brother’s wedding while Mr P looked after our two boys on his own. I am happy to say it all went well, so well in fact that I might just have to do it again!

Bangkok was a blast, I really love this city. I thought this the last time I was there so was a bit hesitant about whether I would feel the same but I did. If you look pass the seedy aspect of it; it is a city just like any other major city in the world, full of the hustle and bustle of everyday living. The people are so friendly the food is great and the shopping is amazing. From the real designer goods in the malls to the very good knock offs in the various markets.

Even more surprising is that we, my siblings and I, managed not to have any major disagreements. Which if you knew my family is something of a rarity.  Yes, we are generally a close family but we are all quite opinionated and think we are always right! Which usually is a recipe for disaster if we spend too long in each other's company.  It was getting a bit fraught at the end after many sleepless nights and the odd hangover thrown into the mix but we got there in the end.

The Wedding day in itself was an experience money couldn’t buy. It started at 6am with a get together before the traditional Buddhist wedding. My new sister in-law’s family took us “farang” into their home, fed us, celebrated with us, even danced with us. In the evening we reciprocated with the “western” reception, where again we celebrated, ate and danced. I think it is fair to say that there was a lot of eating and drinking done by both sides of the wedding party on the day.

What about Mr P, left all alone in dreary London, you may ask?? Well he managed to survive his week of bonding with his sons. Of course the house was a total mess when I got back but they all seemed to enjoy not having me about to nag, shout and moan at them all.

However since I have been back he has come up with rather head shaking (me) and eye rolling (me again) comments...

“My hands are really dry now they always seem to be in water of some kind"


"What a nightmare it was trying to sort out their meals every day”. Bearing in mind I left him enough meals and a list of what to feed them every day!”

“Mealtimes are just so stressful”


“You know there were some days there that I felt I was always in the car, either dropping off somewhere or picking up or even going to the bloody supermarket...”

Hmmm, “No shit, Sherlock.. Welcome to my world!”

“Oh my dear, how I have been neglecting thee.....”

Crikey, I can’t believe that it has been over two weeks since I last posted something or even been on Twitter. There was a brief period of “oh no what I am missing out on” but that soon went and then I realised that I had so much stuff to sort out. So it has been a bit of a hectic and exhausting two week to say the least.

Hectic, as I have been trying to sort everything out for our move back to NZ before I leave for Bangkok tonight for my brother’s wedding! Oh yes nothing like having a holiday 4 weeks before you permanently leave a country but when I booked it back in August we had no idea that we would be moving back to NZ in November.

Exhausting, as we thought it would be a good time to move our little terror, that’s Son No 2 into his own bed. So for the last two weeks we have been getting a morning visitor at 5.30am who doesn’t believe in going back to bed. In fact he doesn’t believe in going to bed at anytime of the day now.. Oh, he used to be such a good little sleeper..

But it’s all coming together nicely and we will be sorted for our big move. It still feels very daunting and the excitement is yet to kick in but I am sure it will happen soon.

So thank you all for your comments, normal blogging service will resume shortly and apologises if I don’t get round to commenting over the next few weeks..

So now I just need to pack a bag and remember my passport...

Who’s hiding in your wardrobe......??

So I think I may have either made a bit of a bad judgment call or did some character building on Sunday evening.  In that I let Son no 1 watch Dr Who with me.  Not that watching Dr Who was the bad call, he loves it, I love it. It was more the episode, as it featured a little dolls house with creepy moon faced dollies running round turning anyone unfortunate enough to be sucked into the house into more, creepy moon faced dollies.  While watching it his little face was looking more and more worried, maybe even a wee bit scared.  He finally told me he didn’t want to watch anymore and went off to his room to play.  When it was time for stories at bedtime I was asked a few questions about the dollies and would he have any in his room.  After much reassurance he went off to sleep.  We had similar conversations throughout today about the dollies and how he would fight them off. 

Hmmm, bad move perhaps?  Character building I say.  I love scary movies and books, I grew up on them.  I remember as a child watching the “Sunday Night horror” where, funny enough, every Sunday night a horror movie was showed on the telly.  Usually the old Hammer horror films with the odd Hitchcock film thrown into the mix.  My sister and I used to scare each other stupid, leaping out of wardrobes, hiding underneath the beds, tapping on the windows.  Many a night I went to bed utterly petrified that something was hiding in the wardrobe.  So you can see how my love for this genre of film and books just grew and grew. 

Mr P is amazed at the amount of “crap” as he calls it, that I know about werewolves, vampires, Freddy Krueger, or who Jason or Michael Myers are.  In fact it is one of the many bones of contention in our household when it comes to what movie to watch.  I inevitable go for the horror or Sci-fi, another great love of mine, while he wants the nicer movie.  We generally meet somewhere in the middle with a Thriller.

I draw the line at a bloody Rom Com, the only Rom Com I want to see is one where Jennifer Aniston plays a zombie bride and it’s actually funny!  

Scary looking for a 5 yo aren't they??

Pictures courtesy of the BBC

“Hold this one....”

41 years ago today these infamous words were spoken to my mother “Here hold this one while I get the other one”. “Get the other what” my mum was heard to shriek.  “Baby?” came the reply.  Yes, all those years ago I entered the world the elder of twin girls to the utter surprise to my parents.  It really was an utter shock to them, as not only was the pregnancy not planned, as they already 3 children, but twins!

Back in those days there were no scans available to check on what was going on with your pregnancy.  My mother had absolutely no idea that she was carrying twins.  There was the odd disagreement between the doctor and midwife about the number of heartbeats, the third faint one was just an echo apparently!  But the doctor was adamant that there was one very large baby and that was all.

Times where so much simpler then, my mum like many in her generation, ate what she wanted, drank (she wasn’t a big drinker) and smoked (like a chimney) unaware of the affect to her unborn babies.   They just got on with life, no sitting back and feeling sorry for themselves over morning sickness, or what to wear as it wasn’t a fashion show.  There were no celebrity mummies showing off their fantastic post baby bodies, to make you want to reach for the cookie jar.  You weren’t unique you were just pregnant like millions of women before and after.   If they had a problem or unsure of anything they just asked their own mothers, no going online to self diagnose yourself.  

I can hardly compare her experiences with mine as it is a far cry from the stresses of having a baby today.  Apart from the medical care you get now, which I must add helped me have my two boys, so I will be eternally grateful to the NHS.  There is the endless bombardment of the media telling you want you should and shouldn’t be doing.  How the decisions you are making now mean you are already a bad mother before you have even given birth. All the must have baby items that you need so you have a happy baby.  These items that you don’t really need, but think you do otherwise you aren’t a good mum.  That you eventually dig out of the bottom of the cupboard months later never used and wonder why on earth you brought it in the first place.

Makes me think, perhaps she had the better pregnancy experience than me.  Perhaps ignorance in some ways is bliss.... 


P.S.   Finally I thought I would share my birthday card from Mr P, arh he knows me so well...

Friends, as good as Family?

What do you think, are friends’ family? Do you consider your closet friends more like family than friends?

Well if like me you live 13,000 miles from your family then the answer is, Yes. Of course they are never going to replace your family, how could they? But they can and do fill the gap that exists when you have no immediate family to hand. This really hit home for us last week when we had to take Son No 1 in at 6.30 am for his operation. What would we do with our younger son? No problem, our good friend K, said she would take him the night before so we could just get up and go without having to sort him out. Then when the day didn’t go to plan and the operation was scheduled later than we anticipated, she stepped in again by taking him for another night, so Mr P could stay later, and be there when Son No 1 woke up from his surgery. The whole time we never had to worry that he wasn’t being looked after or that one of us had to rush back to collect him.

Of course I am not talking about fair weather friends or transitional friends, those friends that come in and out of your life at different stages like work colleagues or people in parenting groups. I am talking about your close friends, the ones that will always be there for you, the ones where you can agree to have different points of views, tell you that your arse does in fact look big in that, hold your hair back for you when being sick, the ones where you can feel comfortable enough to sit in your PJs all day eating cold take away from the night before, with. Those are the friends I am talking about.

Yes, your family are the ones that know you warts and all. They know all about your good and bad points, the teenage angst and crushes, crying when watching old Lassie movies! Whereas your closest friends know you as you are now, with none of that family baggage or resentment. They are less likely to judge you especially when it comes to raising children, hands up who hasn’t had an argument with their mother over something that you are apparently doing wrong? They tend to be more supportive of your decisions and actions as they have either been there done that, or going thru the same thing as you.

Our boys will not only grow up with their immediate family but also an extended family of uncles, aunties and cousins that may not be tied to them by blood but family they will be.

The Elephant

Mummy?

Yes darling

Why were you and daddy talking loudly to each other?

It’s nothing for you to worry about.  We just can’t agree on a very important matter at the moment

Is it to do with me and Cameron?

No of course not, just me and your daddy being silly

Is it to do with the elephant?

Huh..  What do mean the elephant?

You know the one that you said is always in the room.  I can’t see it?

Oh honey that is just something that we grownups say.....

Why would you say it then if there isn’t an elephant in the room?  You know mummy I don’t think we could get an elephant in here?

Well that is just as well then as we won’t be having one in here

Oh……   So we won’t be getting an elephant?

No honey as I said it’s just something grownups say when there is a big problem they need to sort out and they can’t agree on it

Oh..

Why, what’s with the face?

Hmm, I told everyone at school that we were getting a elephant

Okay, and?

Well I told everyone they could come round and feed it

But we aren’t getting one so you will just need to tell them that they can’t

Hmmm does that mean I have told a lie?

No of course not

But you told me if I said things that wasn’t true then it was lying

Yes darling that is true but you didn’t lie

Mummy?

Yes darling

I don’t want an elephant anyway what would we do with all that poo?

A matter of choice..

Monday night saw the documentary by Terry Pratchett, he of the Discworld fantasy books on “Choosing to Die”.  For those who didn’t see it, it was about Terry Pratchett trying to establish whether he would be able to die at the time and in a way he wanted.  In the documentary he followed two people to the Dignitas clinic in Switzerland where they had chosen to end their lives.  The final moments of the film saw one of the men who had Motor Neuron disease dying.

As upsetting, disturbing and strangely peaceful those final moments were I couldn’t help but wonder why on earth he had to travel to Switzerland, to a foreign place to end his life. Why is the government dragging its heels on this issue?  Yes, it is an emotive and contentious issue.  Yes, we have to protect the vulnerable to ensure no one is coerced into making this somewhat final decision.  Yes, the argument against assisted dying is strong though mainly based on religious or moral beliefs.

But surely as a Human Being suffering from a terminal\debilitating disease, illness or injury we should have the right to choose to die with the dignity afforded to us.  What right is it for another individual or even government policy\law to tell us that we can’t?  Then if we do choose to go aboard it is at a cost, which then makes it only accessible for the rich.  While there is a threat that your loved ones may be prosecuted on their return to the UK.

Living Wills are common place now, where they let your loved ones know what medical treatments you want or don’t want to help prolong your life if you are unable to make those decisions yourself.  So why then when you are in “sound mind” you are not allowed to choose when to die.

I know that if the time came that I had to make that choice as upsetting it would be for my family and friends I know that they would support me in my decision.  You go through life making choices all the time and when your life is full of pain and illness then you should be able to make that final choice.

To choose to die in your own bed, your favorite chair or place surrounded by the ones you love and who respect your final choice in life, must surely be a choice available to all.

Postcard from Cyprus..

This will be my last post for two weeks as we are off on a family holiday tomorrow to Cyprus with another family we know.  Hmmm, 5 children from 2 years to 5 years and a set of twins thrown into the mix as well..  Should be fun!

Well I say we are off, we will be as long as the ash cloud stays clear of Gatwick!!

I may be able to pop in and out to check some blogs but if not, I look forward to catching up on them when I get back.

Enjoy the mid term break..  Remember to be good, and if you can't be good, be careful.

Ciao x

Introducing my friend....

A new linky was started today by JoJo over at JoJo's So Called Life in dedication to all our good friends.  You know the ones you can’t (or in some cases can) be without.  The idea is to post something every fortnight about one of your friends to either embarrass them or show to everyone what great mates they are.

So for me I am going to do it about my closest and longest friend, my sister K.  Don’t worry this is not going to be soppy but the truth is she is.  As she has been around as long as I have as she is my twin sister.

We had spent all our time together, growing up we had the same friends, hung round with the same groups of people, collectively known as “The Twins”.  No one else can relate to the childhood embarrassment of your mother dressing you up like a Holly Hobbie doll, bonnets and all and taking you out to the local shopping centre.  To this day our mother still thinks we looked great!

We fought all the time, not just verbally but the odd times there was fisticuffs, door slamming, plate throwing.  But whatever we were fighting about was soon forgotten, we never fought over boys as we had and still have completely different tastes in men.

Things changed when we were in our 20’s as she decided to come over to the UK to do her thing.  Now I am here and she is back in New Zealand. So even thou we have spent the majority of our 20’s and 30’s living on the other side of the world from each other and life changing for both of us thru marriage and kids, our bond is still as strong as ever. 

For more stories about great friends head over to JoJo's, better yet add one yourself.