Argh, Daylight bloody Savings.......!!!

So it's week two since out clocks went back and I think you can guess by the title of this post that I am less than impressed by it!  The reason being is a certain little person in our household who seems to be stuck on NZ summertime so he thinks its okay to wake at 5am!!

Yes the one who is almost 3 hasn't quite got his body clock sorted yet so we have the pleasure of him waking the household every morning at 5ish by turning on all the lights and asking “Why is it dark mummy?”  Needless to say it's taking its toll on both of us.  The other two males in the house seem to have that ability that all males have which is to sleep thru any noise created by a small person in the night.  You know the one, “Huh noise, oh crap, roll over, optional fart or itch, then back to sleep” You may think that this is a rather generic statement but I am sure it just doesn’t happen in our household?

So he is permanently cranky and I am a walking zombie (also cranky) who is craving a lie in to say, oh I don’t know, 6am perhaps...

It doesn’t help either that prior to the clocks going back he was managing to go a couple of days without his daytime nap so he is still trying to do that.  “I don’t need to sleep mummy as I am a big boy now” Oh those words are coming back to haunt me now...

So it goes without saying that he is a walking screaming tantrum throwing tyrant at the moment.  Bless his little cotton socks!

  

Of course in between the tantrums there are a few comic moments like when he falls asleep while eating his lunch or when he totally crashes where ever he was playing with his brother.

Oh I was so looking forward to the holidays and lying in until after 7.  Letting them sleep and to naturally wake up, to have a leisurely breakfast and morning together.  But no the tyrant seems to have other plans for me.

But really, 10 days in and we both need more sleep and he needs to get himself sorted or else I will be medicating both of us...

Silent Sunday

For more great Silent Sunday posts pop yourself over to Love All Blogs...

Silent Sunday

For more great Silent Sunday posts pop yourself over to Love All Blogs...

Oh shit the boys.......!!

So I had a moment the other day, it was a true “save yourself” moment. Just for a split second or two, okay maybe five I was just concerned about myself.  A true moment where I actually forgot about my little treasures (aka the boys)!


So picture the scene....

There we were in a beautiful secluded bay on one of the islands about an hour out of Auckland. The water was so clear that you could see the sandy bottom beneath. Sounds almost perfect right?  Apart from the fact it was so bloody cold!  Typically we picked the worse day of a long weekend to have a family outing on the boat.  We had the day planned out, stopping along the way for a bit of fishing, then stopping at a bay for lunch and a swim.  Generally getting the boys used to being out and about on the water.

So anyway there we were playing in the water, trying to convince the boys that it was warm while covered in goose bumps and trying not to mutter too loudly about how frigging cold it was.  Then I spotted something out of the corner of my eye. 

"Hmmm that’s strange" I thought, "what’s that?"  

So I looked again and there swimming towards me (I am so sure it was after me) was a large black shape.  Did I mention how clear the water was?  Then the panic truly set in.  

“FUCK, there is something in the water” I screamed while running like a lunatic out of the water. 

Then I heard something that was a bit like hitting a brick wall, “mummy, mummy, MUMMY!”  Oh SHIT the boys, oh the shame, oh the bad mother guilt!

On turning round and looking back in the water, Son Number 1 looked close to tears with his arms stretched out and Son Number 2 was looking his usual confused self trying to get a closer look at what was now swimming around them.  As there were now not one but two black shapes enjoying the water with them! 

So after quickly recomposing myself, the brave and dignified person that I am, went back into the water to rescue the boys.  While trying to avoid what turned out to be two stingrays that had decided to spend their afternoon in the same secluded bay as us. 

So hit with the double whammy of freezing water and the stingrays the rest of the afternoon passed pretty much uneventful on the beach.  Where Son number 1 had to do his first poo in the bush in true Kiwi style and I had to wee behind a tree because there was no way either of us was going back into the water unless it was time to leave. 

Oh and before you think he was going to poo in the water, there is a loo on the boat.....

The Procrastinator within..... Part two..

Note to self..

You really need to do it!  You can only put it off for so long!  You know he is more than ready for it so why are you dragging it out as long as you can?

There are no more excuses you have used them all now:

“I can’t just yet as we are moving back to New Zealand”

“Wait a week or two until he is settled”

“After Christmas, after all we have a return 10 hour drive to deal with”

“Once the school holidays are over when there are no distractions”

No it has to be done, after all his brother was done much younger than he is now and it went okay. 

So what is stopping you?  The mess, the staying in, the running round after him, checking up on him, what?

“So what is stopping me?”

It’s kissing goodbye to his babyhood and recognising the little person he is becoming.  It’s like watching him ride off on his bike without me for the first time, watching him jump into the pool without me to catch him and loving it.   It’s realising that soon he will no longer need me as much as he does now. It’s another little step towards his independence.  Its all this and much, much more....  

Because he is no longer our little baby!

Of course I have many more excuses in my head why to put it off for another month or so.  Perhaps wait until we move at the end of this month?  

But no, I know it needs to be done.  So this is the weekend to do it....

Potty training here we come!!

Silent Sunday

Silent Sunday was created by Jay over at mocha beanie mummy

Bessie....

It seems our boys have a new playmate, a new friend for life.  She has helped them settle in more than we could have done.  She is full of energy, patience and very gentle with them, in fact I think placid would be a good word to use for her.  She is Bessie, my sister’s 2 year old dog.  Now don’t go thinking of a wee little 2 year old puppy dog.  Oh no, this little 2 year old is a big, bouncing puppy dog.  There have been many incidents of “Bessie has pushed me over” or “Naughty Bessie” as Son no 2 has been hit in the face by her very excitable tail.  But all in all they just pick themselves up and carry on laughing and playing with her.

Since the day we arrived they have not left her side, every waking moment is spent running round with her, playing ball or making up imagery games where she is inevitably sat on.  Okay, so that may be where the placid may be bordering on dumb as she keeps going back for more!  But while it may be just games for my boys, she in her doggie way is teaching them some valuable lessons in life, friendship, respect, loyalty and of course love.  That true steadfast kinda of love, the kind that doesn’t matter what or who you are or do, they will always be there for you. 

So while I go and do “Poo Patrol” to avoid any nasty accidents with bare feet I leave you with this poem by Edgar Guest.  I think it sums it all up....

A Boy and His Dog

A boy and his dog make a glorious pair:

No better friendship is found anywhere,

For they talk and they walk and they run and they play,

And they have their deep secrets for many a day;

And that boy has a comrade who thinks and who feels,

Who walks down the road with a dog at his heels.

He may go where he will and his dog will be there,

May revel in mud and his dog will not care;

Faithful he'll stay for the slightest command

And bark with delight at the touch of his hand;

Oh, he owns a treasure which nobody steals,

Who walks down the road with a dog at his heels.

No other can lure him away from his side;

He's proof against riches and station and pride;

Fine dress does not charm him, and flattery's breath

Is lost on the dog, for he's faithful to death;

He sees the great soul which the body conceals--

Oh, it's great to be young with a dog at your heels!

So here we are......

So hello there, yes it’s been a while hasn’t it? 

We are now 3 weeks back to being in New Zealand, slowly getting settled and so far so good...

The flight over wasn’t too bad with the boys, all 29 hours of it!  Never underestimate the power of Chupa Chups lollipops and Cars 2.  The first kept them entertained during the all so tedious checking in and security process. Of course much more were demanded for takeoff and landing.  The latter kept them entertained on the flight, in between eating (more sweets and chocolate, they didn't want any of the airline food!) and sleeping they were glued to their little screens.  It didn’t matter that Son No 2 couldn’t get to grips with the head phones so just spent the time watching it with no sound.  He was happy so we were happy.

Once we got here the first two weeks were spent travelling around the country visiting family, so more flights and Chupa Chups for the boys.  Perhaps, now thinking about it, the overload of sweets may of been the cause of Son No 1 couple of bouts of air sickness?  We also had a bit of an eating frenzy, eating everything that we missed while in the UK.   The boys it seems have already slipped into the laidback lifestyle here, playing in the surf at various beaches, eating ice creams and running around in bare feet seems quite normal for them now.

Needless to say the visiting and feeding frenzy is now over and we are now getting some sense of normality back into our lives.  Mr P has started work; Son No 1 is in school which is a bloody godsend even if it is only for 4 weeks until its summer holidays over here.  He was getting quite unbearable and annoying, does that make me a bad mother saying that? No, just honest I think, as there is nothing quite like a bored 5 year old to tip you over the edge!  Even he wanted to start school.  I have even managed to find a childminder to look after Son No 2 for a couple of days a week so I can get some much needed me time.  Some time to think about what I am going to do now.  You know those questions that always seem to be lurking in the back of your mind.  Do I work, if so part time or full time work?  Do I do some courses instead?  Can I really be bothered to join a gym?  Should i sneak off and have another cream donut?   Or is it just me that thinks these things?

In the meantime I have a much neglected blog that needs some loving and need to find us a home before we drive my sister and her partner around the bend.....

“Oh my dear, how I have been neglecting thee.....”

Crikey, I can’t believe that it has been over two weeks since I last posted something or even been on Twitter. There was a brief period of “oh no what I am missing out on” but that soon went and then I realised that I had so much stuff to sort out. So it has been a bit of a hectic and exhausting two week to say the least.

Hectic, as I have been trying to sort everything out for our move back to NZ before I leave for Bangkok tonight for my brother’s wedding! Oh yes nothing like having a holiday 4 weeks before you permanently leave a country but when I booked it back in August we had no idea that we would be moving back to NZ in November.

Exhausting, as we thought it would be a good time to move our little terror, that’s Son No 2 into his own bed. So for the last two weeks we have been getting a morning visitor at 5.30am who doesn’t believe in going back to bed. In fact he doesn’t believe in going to bed at anytime of the day now.. Oh, he used to be such a good little sleeper..

But it’s all coming together nicely and we will be sorted for our big move. It still feels very daunting and the excitement is yet to kick in but I am sure it will happen soon.

So thank you all for your comments, normal blogging service will resume shortly and apologises if I don’t get round to commenting over the next few weeks..

So now I just need to pack a bag and remember my passport...

Silent Sunday

Silent Sunday

For more great photos for Silent Sunday pop yourself over to mocha beanie mummy

Silent Sunday

For more great photos for Silent Sunday pop yourself over to mocha beanie mummy

This is still Hard.. But it is getting Better...

So it’s been 5 months now since I became a SAHM.  In case you don’t know the back history this was a choice I made after being made redundant in March and why I started to blog.  Yes, I know, I was lucky enough to be able to make that decision so I shouldn’t be moaning about things.

However 5 months on, it has been pretty much life changing and hard, and to be honest it still is for me.  So let me share with you the things that I really truly hate and seem to struggle with about being a SAHM.  So in no particular order we have..

Mealtimes:  I hate meal times with a fucking passion.  In fact I have always hated organising dinner so it’s just not since the kids came along. But really having to organise meals for a day and then plan a week really does my head in.  My husband isn’t a foodie at all, so eating to him is something you need to do to survive.  So asking him what he would like to eat for dinner is rather pointless, “not fussed” or “whatever” are the usual response!  To make matters worse he can’t really cook either, I blame his mum and first wife for that one!  Then there is the delights of my little angels, luckily the Son No 2 will still hoover anything I put in front of him but not Son No 1.  It is a constant battle to get him to eat his dinner, unless of course it is baked beans.  Many a day I have spent cooking meals for him, for him to turn around and refuse to eat, he won’t even taste the bloody stuff.  At the moment he doesn’t like, pasta, rice, noodles or potatoes..  Oh, why do I bother, perhaps a diet of baked beans will be good for him!

Housework:  I am not talking about the tiding up of things.  I mean the actual back breaking tedious housework of mopping floors, dusting, cleaning sticky finger prints of doors etc.  We used to have a cleaner when I was working who would pop in for a couple of hours a week to do all this.  But on stopping work I decided we didn’t need her anymore, oh what a bad move that was.  I resent the fact that I have to do all of this, I know I am at home and have the time to do it but that doesn’t make it any better.  Mr P would be happy to do some of it during the weekend but then that would eat up what valuable family time we have in the weekend.  So big question is do I get the cleaner back?  No, as I can’t justify it really if I am at home twiddling my thumbs.

Children Chitchat:  Not talking about the funny day to day chit chat with my boys what I am talking about is mothers I meet who incessantly talk about their little darlings and their deeds.  Let’s get this straight, “yes I am a mum but I have been on this fair planet for the best part of 40 years and in that time I have done more than give birth to two little mini me’s.  I have in fact done many things like, swum in the Borneo rainforest, canoed down the Zambezi, and ridden elephants, does that interest you?  No?  Then why do you think I am interested in what your little darling is doing and what he\she got on their report card?  Please is there anything else you would like to talk about, any current affairs, I will even do celebrity gossip?”

School Holidays:  Nothing needs to be said about this other than they seem to be on holiday all the time and it fucks up MY routine!

So as you can see it’s a short list, and it is getting better.  The good points really are starting to outweigh what I hate or struggle with. 

The one thing that is making it better for me is having the opportunity to watch the relationship and companionship between my sons develop and grow.  The idolisation of the eldest from the younger, the teaching, torture and tormenting from the eldest to the younger,  the battle for possession of toys (the eldest hides them!), the ongoing violence, the ability of the youngest to ‘hold his own’ in battle, all interrupted by small bouts of genuine warmth to each other and playing together nicely.  Things I wouldn’t see if I was working...

The iPad Junkie..

It seems that we have an iPad junkie within our midst.  It is not I, Mr P or even Son No 1.  It is in fact Son no 2, yes the 2 year old.  Yip, that’s right the 2 year old.

What started as a cutesy techno habit has turned into a full blown tantrum producing habit.  With cries of “iPad, iPad” and “Show you something Mummy” as he follows me around demanding it and when he has it yelling at me as he wants to show me something he is doing.  Which is usually playing the same game, over and over and over again, nothing quite like repetition to make you want to bang your head against a wall is there?  I have taken to hiding it during the day so he doesn’t see it, kinda like out of sight out of mind, however that doesn’t always work, “iPad mummy, mummy, mummy, IPAD MUMMY?”.

I will put my hands up to say we did encourage it at the start.  As it was something to keep the boys entertained on the plane for our summer holiday.  It was never intended to be an electronic babysitter or pacifier it was just another “toy” to play with.  An expensive toy I do admit but at least we could choose what apps or games they were using.  Nor were they annoying us every five minutes to change an app or game as they could do it themselves.  Really as it is such an easy device for children to use, I am surprised Apple aren’t marketing it more to parents as the “must have present” for your child.

So back to our little junkie, what am I going to do about it?  Well I think that would be a big fat zero.  Nothing, in fact I would prefer him to be on the iPad then watching the telly as I can kid myself that it is more educational than the telly.  We have apps installed that are teaching him his colours, counting, matching pairs etc, and of course there is always Angry Birds!  Let’s face it the way technology is changing it won’t be long before most schools, including primary schools, have some sort of multi touch devices for the students to use.

My only dilemma is whether we buy myself another one, one that I can use that isn’t covered in sticky fingerprints and toddler snot and slobber..

Silent Sunday

For more great photos for Silent Sunday pop yourself over to mocha beanie mummy

Friends, as good as Family?

What do you think, are friends’ family? Do you consider your closet friends more like family than friends?

Well if like me you live 13,000 miles from your family then the answer is, Yes. Of course they are never going to replace your family, how could they? But they can and do fill the gap that exists when you have no immediate family to hand. This really hit home for us last week when we had to take Son No 1 in at 6.30 am for his operation. What would we do with our younger son? No problem, our good friend K, said she would take him the night before so we could just get up and go without having to sort him out. Then when the day didn’t go to plan and the operation was scheduled later than we anticipated, she stepped in again by taking him for another night, so Mr P could stay later, and be there when Son No 1 woke up from his surgery. The whole time we never had to worry that he wasn’t being looked after or that one of us had to rush back to collect him.

Of course I am not talking about fair weather friends or transitional friends, those friends that come in and out of your life at different stages like work colleagues or people in parenting groups. I am talking about your close friends, the ones that will always be there for you, the ones where you can agree to have different points of views, tell you that your arse does in fact look big in that, hold your hair back for you when being sick, the ones where you can feel comfortable enough to sit in your PJs all day eating cold take away from the night before, with. Those are the friends I am talking about.

Yes, your family are the ones that know you warts and all. They know all about your good and bad points, the teenage angst and crushes, crying when watching old Lassie movies! Whereas your closest friends know you as you are now, with none of that family baggage or resentment. They are less likely to judge you especially when it comes to raising children, hands up who hasn’t had an argument with their mother over something that you are apparently doing wrong? They tend to be more supportive of your decisions and actions as they have either been there done that, or going thru the same thing as you.

Our boys will not only grow up with their immediate family but also an extended family of uncles, aunties and cousins that may not be tied to them by blood but family they will be.

Is it because they are boys?

I had a bit of a drama with Son No 1 last night, not a big drama to me but to him you would have thought his foot had fallen off.  It seems that while he was outside playing he had stubbed his little toe.  It wasn’t until he noticed it, which was about 10 minutes later, the drama started.  “My toe, my toe...  Mummy it’s bleeding, it’s broken, Ouch, Ouch” followed by mock crying.  Get the picture?  The caring mother that I am went over to look at it, but he wouldn’t let me touch it.  So I just declared “Well if you won’t let me look at it I can’t help.  It’s not bleeding now so you are okay”, then went about doing whatever it was I was doing before.  While he continued hopping around on one foot declaring it was broken.

So this got me thinking about a conversation I had with my friend K while on holiday.  She had commented to me on how I let the boys do more i.e. attempt to climb trees, run around the pool, jump off things etc then she lets her children.  This is a fair point as I know I do.  I believe that as long as they can’t come to any real harm and they aren’t running riot than I should let them explore and test their physical capabilities and boundaries.

I would like to think the reason I let them to do this is because I want them to have the same sort of freedom and childhood adventures that both myself and Mr. P had when we were growing up.  I know with society the way it is now we can’t replicate that “happy” childhood that we may have experienced but I feel I should give them the opportunity to do these things.

However, the question I keep asking myself is “Is it because they are boys?”  I would like to think that the answer to that is NO!  That if I had girls then I would let them do the same.  After all, the feminist inside me would be outraged if I had little girls and I stopped them doing the things I did, like climb trees.  But when I hear myself say things like “toughen up” “get up and brush yourself down” “you are alright there is no blood” I have to think that it is, simply because they are boys. 

I want my boys to take (small) risks and learn by their own mistakes.  I want them to understand the consequences of their actions, especially if these actions affect others.  To be more resilient and aware, that the world is not always a good or safe place.  At the same time, to be caring, sensitive and respectful to others and their needs.  Especially as they grow up and become more aware of girls.

As when the time comes for them to leave home I want to know that we have done all we could for them and that they are ready to face whatever life throws at them, good or bad.  That they will be able to cope on their own, to make the right decisions, take those little risks, and understand what the possible outcomes are.  And finally to be loving and supportive partners, husbands, fathers.

So if that means as children letting them jump off a wall or climb a rather dodgy looking tree then so be it.  I will be ready with plasters and hugs.

Silent Sunday

For more great photos for Silent Sunday pop yourself over to mocha beanie mummy

Our Unconventional Pet

We have a new pet it seems.  He is not your usual pet.  He lives in the dark and is only allowed out by mummy and daddy. 

They take him out when we are asleep as we want to play with him all the time.  This makes mummy and daddy ever so angry as he is supposed to be playing with them.  They tell us when we are older we can play with him as much as we want.

He doesn’t eat much and is ever so tidy.

If we are lucky to be up when he is out we can’t wait to play with him.  We pat him, we stoke him.  We even pull his tail or lead him by his nose.

When it is time for him to go back to bed we give him a farewell hug.  And if he has been good we may even give him a kiss.

“Night night ‘enry”

Love F & C xx

My Hellish Trip..

I noticed that for this month’s BMB Carnival over at Me, the Man & The Baby the theme is “Travelling with kids”.  So as I have done a fair bit of travelling I thought I would rack my brains for something to share with you.  So this is all about my hellish trip from 2009. 

In August that year we got the opportunity to go back to NZ.  We thought we would take it especially as Son No 2 was only 4 months old at the time so it would be a chance for the family to meet him.  The trip out was pretty uneventful, just the usual bother that flying long haul with children brings.  We finally got to Wellington without the loss of any toys, luggage, and children and thankfully our sanity still intact.

For the 3 weeks we were there I had what I thought was a really bad head cold.  I was taking a lot of cold and flu tables had a permanent high temperature, a hacking cough with night sweats thrown in for good measure.  But typically like any mum I just got on with it.  Well you do don’t you?  We had people to see and places to go plus the boys needed to be looked after.  Mr P was even thoughtful enough to go and visit friends for a couple of nights since it was only a cold!

Because I couldn’t shift it I decided I should go to the doctors as I didn’t really want to travel feeling like, well ‘shit’ to be honest.  The doctor wasn’t impressed that I had left it so long especially as I had travelled from the UK where there was the big swine flu outbreak!  Remember that?  He sent me off for chest x-rays and blood tests and it turned out I had ‘Pneumonia’ and advised against travelling back to the UK until it was all cleared.

So after lengthy and somewhat heated “discussions” with Mr P it was decided that he would go back with Son No 1 and I will travel back a week later with Son No 2.  A week later I was given the all clear to fly and that is when the fun really began.

You hear these fantastic stories of people travelling alone with children and the help you get.  Well that certainly didn’t happen for me.  I had a 5 month old who liked to have a cry before settling to sleep, which is okay when he is in his cot, with his door closed, but on a plane full of people staring at you it’s not.  So I had to hold him for the majority of the flights.  The air hostesses were less then helpful considering I was flying with an airline that is supposed to be the “friendliest in the sky”.  I had one offer of help and that is when I boarded.  Eating and going to the toilet was near impossible while holding a sleeping baby.  I even had to put him on the floor of the air tunnel when it came to collapsing the stroller before getting on the plane as no one was around to help.  Likewise when it came to collecting it once we landed.  I was even told at one point that they weren’t allowed to take the baby. Health and Safety reasons I assume!  With a six hour stopover in Singapore I decided to book a room so we could try and sleep.  Of course we had to go to one of the other terminals for it!  Heathrow was no better, struggling with two bags plus baby and stroller while porters stood by watching or zooming round in their little buggies.  I was so knackered that by the time I saw our cabbie I just burst into tears.  Which for me is something i don’t normally do?

So I left on a Friday night and arrived the following Saturday night in London, all up it took 38 hours door to door including a 6 hour stopover in Singapore.  Of course MR P maintains to this day that his trip home was worse than mine, yeah right!

I must have lost my sanity on that trip because I did it all again the following January.