Bah Humbug.......

Well it seems that I am a bad mother, yet again!  According to Son No 1 life is not fair and it’s entirely my fault.  Of course being this time of year it has to do with Christmas or in our case the lack of anything Christmassy in the house.

 

Him: “Mum, why don’t we have a Christmas tree this year”

Me:  “I thought we wouldn’t bother since we aren’t going to be here for Christmas, your auntie will have one up when we get there”

Him: “That’s not fair, what about decorations?”

Me: “What about them?”

 Or

Him: “Mum, why don’t I have a chocolate calendar?”

Me:  “Because you don’t need one.”

Him:  “But everyone at school has one”

Me:  “That’s nice for them but you don’t need one, we didn’t have them in my day”

Now before you think that yes, I do in fact deserve the Bad Mum of the Year award and that I am a pretty miserable person, let me explain...

I don’t get Christmas or more the point I can’t see the point in it.  Apart from the religious side of it that some people still celebrate, what really is the point?  Ask any child nowadays about what Christmas means to them and it will all be about the presents.  Surely this alone shows just how commercialised the whole festive season has become.  Is there really a need for shops to start displaying Christmas decorations or signs in September other than to try and get the early dollar off us mere consumers?  The consumers, who at the first sign of anything Christmassy in the shops start to panic and so the list making and present buying frenzy begins. 

Yes it’s a time of year that for most will get a few days off work and have the opportunity to catch up with family and friends.  But I am sure for most people they can do that at any time of the year and not have to pay over the top in doing so.  I for one do not need advertising companies and stores telling me what I should be doing and what I should be spending my hard earn cash on.  You know the lists in the papers and magazines of those “must have gifts”, really?  If I am going to be forced into buying presents for my children then I will buy what I want them to have or what they need.  As the food, do we really need to eat all that food which in most households goes to waste?

Let’s also not forget that for some this time of year is not that festive.  It is proven that at this time of year domestic violence increases, while hospitals are overloaded with drunks.  Some families will have to choose whether to buy presents or pay those important household bills.  Parents will be getting stressed with the fear\pressure that the children can’t miss out on the top toys\gadgets\clothes.  After all what would the other school gate mums think if little” so and so” doesn’t have the must have toy or shoes..

Really is it all worth it? 

So yes I really don’t see the point and can think of better things to do over this period but for the sake of the boys and my family I will be going thru the motions this Sunday.  Especially as it will be our first Christmas back in NZ with the boys.  So we will have the presents, eat all that unnecessary food, try not to argue with each other while having started drinking mid morning.  After all it’s Christmas and no harm in having a wee drink after breakfast! 

But I will also be looking forward to the time I can tell my boys “look he just isn’t real” and that friends and family are important all thru the year not just at Christmas.  That they need to appreciate what they have and that presents don't represent how much someone loves you.  That the latest must have "whatever" doesn't make you a better person.

Also in case you are wondering I also don’t see the point in Valentine’s Day, Easter and Halloween either!

Okay, okay, I admit it...

It would be fair to say that the last 8 months or so I have been in denial to what or who I am.  But that all changed this week with the click of a mouse button when I was asked for my occupation at the bank.  I am not currently working was my reply, so with a CLICK I became a ‘housewife’.  Right before my eyes, CLICK, just like that.  Apparently there was no need to discuss this with me.  It seems that any woman who has children and isn’t in employment must be a housewife!  So the decision was made while I sat there quietly outraged (that’s my inner feminist) and Mr. P just smirked knowingly!

You see I haven’t really come to terms yet to say that I am a SAHM.  To all new people I meet and on any forms that I need to complete I am still an IT Manager.  Someone who works and has a life outside of children and the home, but who is currently having an unexpected extended break.  Why do I do this still?  No idea, but I have read some pretty good blogs recently about lost of identity and what life was like before children.  So I guess that pretty much sums up how I feel.  That with that little click the last 20 years of my life and experiences has somehow been wiped out.  That my role in life has now changed to that of a housewife because that is what society or the bank’s computer system thinks I am.  So what will this new role bring I ask?  Will I still be interesting to other people?  Will “Yes hello, I am currently at home with the kids” be met with blank stares or even worst that pitying smirk that some people like to give.  Will I lose whatever fashion sense I had while working and resort to anything that is comfy?  Will my ability to drink copious amounts of alcohol disappear since I no longer have work drinks or even worst am I am expected not to drink (copious amounts) since I am now a housewife? 

Now of course there is nothing wrong with being called a housewife, after all that is what many of my friends are.  But it does scream (well to me) images of a perfectly coiffure woman in an apron, holding babies and smiling sweetly at hubby.  Not the reality of a over tired woman trying to juggle housework, food shopping, school run, afterschool activities, cooking, bathing and story reading.

But the alternatives are not any better, Home Executive, Home maker, Soccer Mom, Lady of the house, Home Economist!  I mean really, am I the only one that thinks this? 

I think I will settle for what my mum used to say in her younger days when we were all still at home… “wife, mother, chief cook and bottle washer”. 

Just try fitting that into your little box Mr. Bank Manager!

Bessie....

It seems our boys have a new playmate, a new friend for life.  She has helped them settle in more than we could have done.  She is full of energy, patience and very gentle with them, in fact I think placid would be a good word to use for her.  She is Bessie, my sister’s 2 year old dog.  Now don’t go thinking of a wee little 2 year old puppy dog.  Oh no, this little 2 year old is a big, bouncing puppy dog.  There have been many incidents of “Bessie has pushed me over” or “Naughty Bessie” as Son no 2 has been hit in the face by her very excitable tail.  But all in all they just pick themselves up and carry on laughing and playing with her.

Since the day we arrived they have not left her side, every waking moment is spent running round with her, playing ball or making up imagery games where she is inevitably sat on.  Okay, so that may be where the placid may be bordering on dumb as she keeps going back for more!  But while it may be just games for my boys, she in her doggie way is teaching them some valuable lessons in life, friendship, respect, loyalty and of course love.  That true steadfast kinda of love, the kind that doesn’t matter what or who you are or do, they will always be there for you. 

So while I go and do “Poo Patrol” to avoid any nasty accidents with bare feet I leave you with this poem by Edgar Guest.  I think it sums it all up....

A Boy and His Dog

A boy and his dog make a glorious pair:

No better friendship is found anywhere,

For they talk and they walk and they run and they play,

And they have their deep secrets for many a day;

And that boy has a comrade who thinks and who feels,

Who walks down the road with a dog at his heels.

He may go where he will and his dog will be there,

May revel in mud and his dog will not care;

Faithful he'll stay for the slightest command

And bark with delight at the touch of his hand;

Oh, he owns a treasure which nobody steals,

Who walks down the road with a dog at his heels.

No other can lure him away from his side;

He's proof against riches and station and pride;

Fine dress does not charm him, and flattery's breath

Is lost on the dog, for he's faithful to death;

He sees the great soul which the body conceals--

Oh, it's great to be young with a dog at your heels!

So here we are......

So hello there, yes it’s been a while hasn’t it? 

We are now 3 weeks back to being in New Zealand, slowly getting settled and so far so good...

The flight over wasn’t too bad with the boys, all 29 hours of it!  Never underestimate the power of Chupa Chups lollipops and Cars 2.  The first kept them entertained during the all so tedious checking in and security process. Of course much more were demanded for takeoff and landing.  The latter kept them entertained on the flight, in between eating (more sweets and chocolate, they didn't want any of the airline food!) and sleeping they were glued to their little screens.  It didn’t matter that Son No 2 couldn’t get to grips with the head phones so just spent the time watching it with no sound.  He was happy so we were happy.

Once we got here the first two weeks were spent travelling around the country visiting family, so more flights and Chupa Chups for the boys.  Perhaps, now thinking about it, the overload of sweets may of been the cause of Son No 1 couple of bouts of air sickness?  We also had a bit of an eating frenzy, eating everything that we missed while in the UK.   The boys it seems have already slipped into the laidback lifestyle here, playing in the surf at various beaches, eating ice creams and running around in bare feet seems quite normal for them now.

Needless to say the visiting and feeding frenzy is now over and we are now getting some sense of normality back into our lives.  Mr P has started work; Son No 1 is in school which is a bloody godsend even if it is only for 4 weeks until its summer holidays over here.  He was getting quite unbearable and annoying, does that make me a bad mother saying that? No, just honest I think, as there is nothing quite like a bored 5 year old to tip you over the edge!  Even he wanted to start school.  I have even managed to find a childminder to look after Son No 2 for a couple of days a week so I can get some much needed me time.  Some time to think about what I am going to do now.  You know those questions that always seem to be lurking in the back of your mind.  Do I work, if so part time or full time work?  Do I do some courses instead?  Can I really be bothered to join a gym?  Should i sneak off and have another cream donut?   Or is it just me that thinks these things?

In the meantime I have a much neglected blog that needs some loving and need to find us a home before we drive my sister and her partner around the bend.....

"Walking thru an empty house, tears in my eyes...... This is where the story ends"

My dearest London,

The time has finally come to say goodbye. Our home is no more, all it's content packed up and ready to be shipped. Every room empty now, filled only with echoey silence, no sign that it used to be our home.

What can I say, its been a blast my old friend. From being a gateway to Europe for all our travels. To the dodgy pubs and clubs I have crawl out of at some ungodly hour. From fine dining to the old faithful local greasy spoon. To the great shopping on the High street, from cheap as chips, designer stuff, M&S food and underwear. I will miss all of this. To providing me with the excellent care to allow me to have our two gorgeous boys. To, of course, all the great people I have met and the good friends I have made, I will miss you all so much.

So thank you London for making the last decade, my thirties a truly memorable time.

Of course it hasn't always been good, there will be things that I will definitely not miss. From the snow, god how I hate the snow. How the whole city, no country, grounds to a halt is
beyond me! To the endless football coverage, dodgy summers, overcrowded tubes, tourist packed streets. No I won't miss them at all.

So yes I will miss you dear old London but as the song goes "this is where our story ends".

So now on to the next chapter and to whatever it may bring.


Yours truly



Frankie P xx

My week that was...

So in terms of surviving I am not talking a major natural disaster or catastrophe event here, but nonetheless for us it was a pretty big deal. I went to Bangkok for a week for my brother’s wedding while Mr P looked after our two boys on his own. I am happy to say it all went well, so well in fact that I might just have to do it again!

Bangkok was a blast, I really love this city. I thought this the last time I was there so was a bit hesitant about whether I would feel the same but I did. If you look pass the seedy aspect of it; it is a city just like any other major city in the world, full of the hustle and bustle of everyday living. The people are so friendly the food is great and the shopping is amazing. From the real designer goods in the malls to the very good knock offs in the various markets.

Even more surprising is that we, my siblings and I, managed not to have any major disagreements. Which if you knew my family is something of a rarity.  Yes, we are generally a close family but we are all quite opinionated and think we are always right! Which usually is a recipe for disaster if we spend too long in each other's company.  It was getting a bit fraught at the end after many sleepless nights and the odd hangover thrown into the mix but we got there in the end.

The Wedding day in itself was an experience money couldn’t buy. It started at 6am with a get together before the traditional Buddhist wedding. My new sister in-law’s family took us “farang” into their home, fed us, celebrated with us, even danced with us. In the evening we reciprocated with the “western” reception, where again we celebrated, ate and danced. I think it is fair to say that there was a lot of eating and drinking done by both sides of the wedding party on the day.

What about Mr P, left all alone in dreary London, you may ask?? Well he managed to survive his week of bonding with his sons. Of course the house was a total mess when I got back but they all seemed to enjoy not having me about to nag, shout and moan at them all.

However since I have been back he has come up with rather head shaking (me) and eye rolling (me again) comments...

“My hands are really dry now they always seem to be in water of some kind"


"What a nightmare it was trying to sort out their meals every day”. Bearing in mind I left him enough meals and a list of what to feed them every day!”

“Mealtimes are just so stressful”


“You know there were some days there that I felt I was always in the car, either dropping off somewhere or picking up or even going to the bloody supermarket...”

Hmmm, “No shit, Sherlock.. Welcome to my world!”

Silent Sunday

“Oh my dear, how I have been neglecting thee.....”

Crikey, I can’t believe that it has been over two weeks since I last posted something or even been on Twitter. There was a brief period of “oh no what I am missing out on” but that soon went and then I realised that I had so much stuff to sort out. So it has been a bit of a hectic and exhausting two week to say the least.

Hectic, as I have been trying to sort everything out for our move back to NZ before I leave for Bangkok tonight for my brother’s wedding! Oh yes nothing like having a holiday 4 weeks before you permanently leave a country but when I booked it back in August we had no idea that we would be moving back to NZ in November.

Exhausting, as we thought it would be a good time to move our little terror, that’s Son No 2 into his own bed. So for the last two weeks we have been getting a morning visitor at 5.30am who doesn’t believe in going back to bed. In fact he doesn’t believe in going to bed at anytime of the day now.. Oh, he used to be such a good little sleeper..

But it’s all coming together nicely and we will be sorted for our big move. It still feels very daunting and the excitement is yet to kick in but I am sure it will happen soon.

So thank you all for your comments, normal blogging service will resume shortly and apologises if I don’t get round to commenting over the next few weeks..

So now I just need to pack a bag and remember my passport...

Good bye London...... Hello Auckland...

Well it seems that the Elephant we had has finally left the room. Yes we are finally going home, back to the land of the long white cloud, that’s New Zealand if you hadn’t of guessed. After 3 years of ranting, raving and the odd door slamming, all by me of course, the decision has been made and we leave in November.

So yes, I have finally got what I wanted. Am I jumping up and down with excitement? Hmmm, well not yet anyway and I am not sure when the excitement will kick in! After spending all of last week in limbo, not knowing what was happening and then being told all of a sudden we need to be out there for 21st November, well it has left me a bit shell shocked to be honest. Hence the lack of blogging last week, I just couldn't think about anything else! I had always envisaged that I would have months to pack up 10 ½ years of memories and possessions plus the boys, not 6 weeks. But hey ho, these things happen, just need to tell myself that 6 weeks is plenty of time and make sure I don’t sit back and procrastinate about everything that needs to be done.

So my biggest worry is that I have been looking thru rose tinted glassed for the last 3 years, that it is not going to live up to my expectations! That we are going to wrench the boys away from all they know and it’s going to be a disaster. I am just hoping that it is the best move for the family especially for the boys, otherwise it will be the worse decision I have ever pushed to be made, and that is saying something. I have no doubt that it will be tough for Mr P and me to settle back. Especially as we left as 30 something’s, wanting to travel and take on the world and going back as 40 something’s, tired and worn out with two little people to look after. Neither of us are from Auckland so new friends will need to be made by all of us, schools sorted for the boys, a whole new city to discover and find our way round. I will even have to eventually look for a job.

But that is all immaterial when I think that the boys will finally get to spend time with their grandparents, get to know their cousins, aunties and uncles. Get to know all the people that make up the extended families that they belong to.

It's has to be the right decision doesn't it??

For once I don’t mind being a number......

Did you know that half of the 8 million children who die each year are in Africa, yet Africa has only 3% of the world’s doctors, nurses and midwives?

Did you know that due to the severe drought in East Africa, that there is an estimated 750,000 children that are about to die?

Doctors, nurses and midwives are vital to saving children’s lives. But there's a massive shortfall of health workers in the world’s poorest countries. As ever, the poorest and most vulnerable are hardest hit.

Save the Children are aware of this and are campaigning to ensure that no children die because they can’t see a health worker. They need YOU to sign their latest petition, their target is 60,000.

They are calling on David Cameron to play his full part in solving the health worker crisis which is costing millions of children's lives. 60,000 it doesn’t sound a lot but they need it by Tuesday for when the world leaders meet at the UN in New York. Save the Children want them to commit to filling the massive shortfall in midwives, nurses and doctors in the poorest countries. So go on sign the petition, I was 41,946, and for once I don’t mind being a number!

To support this campaign two bloggers who attended the Save the Children Blogging conference on Saturday 17th September, helloitgemma and michelletwinmum are trying to get 100 bloggers linked up with a 100 word meme before Tuesday.

So this is what you need to do to help:

1. Sign the petition! Go on, if is the only thing you do it will count!
2. Join in Helloitsgemma and Michelletwinmum’s blogging challenge and link up with them your 100 words. Encourage signatures and make a dent in the 20,000 needed. Write 100 words about a great health professional you have met. Add a link to the petition and follow #Healthworkerscampaign on twitter for more info.
3. Link to a number of bloggers asking them to do the same.
4. Spread the news, Twitter, Facebook, Google plus, anything.

My 100 Words (okay its slightly more)

Just think how lucky we are in the UK?


Where we are so complacent at times that we take it for granted that we will have access to a doctor\midwife. So complacent that we feel the need to bitch about the care we get (for free), on how we had to wait an hour to see a GP or have to chase for an appointment.


Now stop and think for a minute of that mother who has walked days to try and find food for her children. Having to watch her child die because they never received any inoculations. Watching your mother, sister, aunt, friend die in childbirth as no midwife or doctor was there to help.


Yes, very lucky aren’t we!

I am going to pass this on to the following lovely bloggers, apologies if you have already been tagged with this.

Mymumdom
You're not from round here
Musings from a mum
this is me sarahmumof3
Chattybaby
Actually Mummy
Thoughts from a random woman

Silent Sunday

Silent Sunday was created by Jay over at mocha beanie mummy

The A - Z of me......

I have been tagged in the latest meme going round, by the rather funny Actually Mummy.  This is where I get to answer questions about myself in the form of A-Z questions.  Now as a pretty private person this is my idea of hell BUT as I am also not one to let the side down, here goes.. 

ANORAK…Do you have a sad side? 

I am a bit of a technical geek, blame it on 20 years working in IT.  Plus I have a great love of anything Sci-fi.  Does building Lego count as being a bit sad?  Also I do love a good documentary on the telly?    

BODY…What physical attribute would you most like to change? 

I am actually pretty happy with my lot; it has done me well and is still looking okay after all it has gone thru.  But I do wish I wasn’t so fair, pale, white or blue as my sister calls me.  Would be nice to not have to get a tan out of a bottle at times..

CELEBRITY…Which one would you most like to date and why? 

Move over Brad Pitt and Jonny Depp and hellooo David Tennant.  I am not sure how a pasty skinny Scotsman has become my object of affection but he has.  There is just something about him perhaps it’s his cheeky grin or his dulcet Scottish voice.  He can whisper in my ear anytime.. 

DEBUT …Tell us about your first ever blog post. What made you start blogging? 

Funny enough my first post was about me and why I started to blog.  Which basically was because I was made redundant and Mr P thought it would be a good thing to do to keep the grey matter ticking along..

ERROR …What’s been your biggest regret?

I don’t think I have any regrets really other than some blokes that I wish I hadn’t bothered with. 

FUNNY – who’s making you laugh? 
Well that would have to be my two boys of course.

GRAND…If we gave you one right now what would you spend it on?

If I was working and you gave it to me, I would spend it on either a new handbag or a family weekend away.  But as I am not I would put it away for a rainy day, boring but sensible..

HOLIDAY… What’s your favourite destination?  

Without a doubt it would be Africa.  Mr P and I have been fortunate enough to do a bit of travelling and this was the best place by far.  I can’t wait until the boys are old enough so we can take them back.

IRRITATE… What’s your most annoying habit? 

I tend to drink too much, I don’t have an “off switch” according to Mr P..

JOKER…Whats your favourite joke {the one that makes you laugh everytime you hear it}? 

“You can have a lie in, in the morning”.  Yeah right!

KENNEL… Do you have any pets?

No, but have promised the boys a dog when we eventually head back to NZ.

LOVE…Are you single, married, engaged, living with a long term partner? 

Married, together 17 married 10...  A lifetime...

MEAL… Whats your ultimate starter, main and dessert?
Easy, scallops to start, perfectly cooked Lamb for main and then some sort of sticky or chocolate desert, followed of coursed by a nice coffee.  Wine, of course served thru out.. 

NOW…If you could be anywhere right now where would you be and who with? 

We would be back in NZ with our families.

OFF DUTY…What do you do in your spare time? 

Spare time, what’s that? 

PROUD MOMENTS …What are you most proud of?

Has to be the birth of my two big bouncing boys...

QUEASY …What turns your stomach? 

The cruelty that the human race can afflict on each other, sometimes it makes be ashamed to think that we all come from the same gene pool..

RELAX…How do you relax?  

With a nice glass of wine, preferably a sauvignon or pinot noir..

SONG…Whats your favourite song of all time? 

Ziggy Stardust, I had the words written on my bedroom wall as a teenager.  My mum wasn’t too impressed with that..

TIME …If you could go back in time and relive it again, when would you choose?  

My early twenties, when I was young and single, and having a blast.  However I would like to go back with my 40 year head so I can stop myself from making stupid mistakes...  (See E above)

UNKNOWN…Tell us something about yourself that no one else knows?

Now that would be telling... Something’s are not for telling..

VOCAL…. Who is your favourite artist?  

David Bowie

WORK….. What is your dream job, and are you doing it now?  

I was doing my dream job, managing an IT team, working in the media industry, able to wear jeans everyday..  That all I wanted, eventually it happened and then I got made redundant from it..

XRAY…Any broken bones?

Nothing broken yet, touch wood..

YIKES…What’s been your most embarrassing moment? 

Being hit by a car outside a very busy bus stop after work..  There were people everywhere.  Truly embarrassing, the car wasn’t going that fast so I was able to pick myself up and limp away rather quickly...

ZOO…. If you were an animal, which one would you be? 

It would be a lioness, lying about in the sun all day, others around to help with childcare and not having to worry about what to eat as someone else was feeding you.  Sounds like bliss don’t you think?

So now I am going to tag the following lovely bloggers, apologises if you have already been tag or if you don’t want to do it...

Maris World

MishMashMum

Manana Mama

Reluctant Housedad

It was created by the Real Housewife of Suffolk County, so you can find the blank template here...

Our Strange little Habits......

Me “Did you put on the dishwasher?”

Mr P “Yes I did, its finished so I’ve emptied it”

Me “Cool, did you put it all away”

Mr P “Yeah”

Me “Did you rotate the plates and stuff around?”

Mr P “Did I what?”

Me “You know, change it all around so the clean stuff goes to the bottom and...”

So went the conversation on Sunday with Mr P.  The last sentence of me, explaining the crockery rotation to him was met with a blank stare, and the following “Are you fucking serious?  You really need to get out more or better yet get a job”.

Now I didn’t think my little “thing” was that bad, not OCD or anything, it’s just the way it is.  Just like the way the washing has to be hung out, if Mr P hangs it out wrong, which is inevitable, then I will go out afterwards and re-peg it.  Now, before you all go “what a control freak...”  Check this out; Mr P has a rotation system for the towels so once they have been washed, folded and put away he sneaks in and re-sorts the cupboard to ensure the right towels are used next time.  Now I think that is way more weird than my crockery thing!

We all have them, don't we, these little idiosyncrasies?  The little things we do or say that seems perfectly normal to us but to those around us it’s a bit strange or weird.  Things like not drinking out of cans (that’s me again), alphabetising your CDs, the way you fold your clothes or ironing your pants. Yes really, ironing pants! Just ask Keith at Chronicles of Reluctant Housedad about it.  To a friend of ours who has his pantry alphabetised with all labels facing out.  Oh yes all the cans and jars nicely lined up, all in order, heaven help you if you misplace something or move things around for a joke.  It’s not a laughing matter apparently!

I even see this behaviour in our boys, they way they play with certain cars or trains, how they line them all up, the order they do things in.  All part of their growing personalities, and their own little idiosyncrasies.

So dear readers, what about yourselves?  Do you have any strange little habits that make your loved ones think you have lost the plot?  

Silent Sunday

Not for the Politicians......!!

I originally wrote this post last week, a full on rant about Nadine Dorries and her strangely “Pro-Life” and foolish legislation that she wanted to bring in. Okay, so today she has gone on the record in parliament to say that she is” Pro-Choice” but I am not totally convinced on that.

This is after all, the woman that in May this year, proposed a bill that required sex education in schools should include content promoting abstinence to girls aged 13 to 16. Even though the sex education that is already taught mentions the option of abstinence, the new bill would require active promotion of abstinence to girls only. Now, it has been 25 years since I was a teenager but from memory, boys were just as, if not more promiscuous as us girls. So the question needs to be asked why not this “active promotion” to boys?

She then followed this on a week later with ‘If a stronger ‘just say no’ message was given to children in school, there might be an impact on sex abuse, because a lot of girls, when sex abuse takes place don’t realise until later that was a wrong thing to do... I don’t think people realise that if we did empower this message into girls, imbued this message in school, we would probably have less sex abuse’. Hmm so what is she saying here? That the lack of awareness around abstinence among young girls is linked to rates of child sexual abuse and nothing to do with predatory, manipulating males? Do young boys not get abused?

Anyway I digress.

So today the majority of MPs saw sense and rejected by an over whelming majority the bid to change the law on abortion counselling. Which surely is good news for all women in Britian? What right does one individual in a position of power or in this case government have to tell us what we can and can’t do with our lives. Women should be awarded the choice to decide what is best for them and their families and not dictated to by someone else’s beliefs.  Thankfully in this country we are afforded that choice and I for one can see no reasons why it needs to be changed.

In effect what Dorries was saying was that the current organisations such as BPAS and Marie Stopes, had a financial interest into pushing women into having abortions. That they were not providing, “adequate care” for those seeking abortions. That independent counselling should be made available if the patient so wish it. That sounds all fine and you can think okay so what is the big deal about all this? Well the current abortion services are regulated and are kept to official guidelines. The counselling that is already provided, if a woman wants to take it up, is done by trained professionals independently of the clinics doctors. So the questions that need answering are who or what would these new “independent counsellors” be? How could they be able to provide any more help than what is already available? Would they be regulated and made to follow the same guidelines? Would they be able to help a woman who is indecisive about having an abortion to make the right decision for her without any moral or religious prejudice? Would all this cause additional delay and distress?

Abortion is and always will be an emotive and contentious subject. It is a private and personal matter and should remain so. It has no place in government nor should governments use it to gather party votes. You only need to look to the US to see how it is used as a political football.

Women should be able to have the choice to decide.  They after all are the ones that have to live with the decision they have made, some do so quite easily, some do not.

Exterminate, Exterminate! - 100WCGU

This week for 100WCGU the challenge is to write within a chosen genre of our choice, sci-fi, horror, romance etc. The prompt for this is “......Mary thought...”

“I need to get out of here” Mary thought.

From under the desk she could hear them moving between rooms, hearing their death rays firing.

Shaking with fear she peered out only to look one of them straight in the eye.

“Run” her inner voice screamed. Mary pushed past the creature as it was getting ready to aim.  Running down the corridor she knew the Dr would be able to save her.

As she turned the corner she saw him, called out to him.  Safe at last she thought.  But then close behind her she heard the terrifying word “Exterminate”!



For more great 100 Word Challenge for Grown Ups entries, head on over to The Heads Office.

Who’s hiding in your wardrobe......??

So I think I may have either made a bit of a bad judgment call or did some character building on Sunday evening.  In that I let Son no 1 watch Dr Who with me.  Not that watching Dr Who was the bad call, he loves it, I love it. It was more the episode, as it featured a little dolls house with creepy moon faced dollies running round turning anyone unfortunate enough to be sucked into the house into more, creepy moon faced dollies.  While watching it his little face was looking more and more worried, maybe even a wee bit scared.  He finally told me he didn’t want to watch anymore and went off to his room to play.  When it was time for stories at bedtime I was asked a few questions about the dollies and would he have any in his room.  After much reassurance he went off to sleep.  We had similar conversations throughout today about the dollies and how he would fight them off. 

Hmmm, bad move perhaps?  Character building I say.  I love scary movies and books, I grew up on them.  I remember as a child watching the “Sunday Night horror” where, funny enough, every Sunday night a horror movie was showed on the telly.  Usually the old Hammer horror films with the odd Hitchcock film thrown into the mix.  My sister and I used to scare each other stupid, leaping out of wardrobes, hiding underneath the beds, tapping on the windows.  Many a night I went to bed utterly petrified that something was hiding in the wardrobe.  So you can see how my love for this genre of film and books just grew and grew. 

Mr P is amazed at the amount of “crap” as he calls it, that I know about werewolves, vampires, Freddy Krueger, or who Jason or Michael Myers are.  In fact it is one of the many bones of contention in our household when it comes to what movie to watch.  I inevitable go for the horror or Sci-fi, another great love of mine, while he wants the nicer movie.  We generally meet somewhere in the middle with a Thriller.

I draw the line at a bloody Rom Com, the only Rom Com I want to see is one where Jennifer Aniston plays a zombie bride and it’s actually funny!  

Scary looking for a 5 yo aren't they??

Pictures courtesy of the BBC

The Gym and I.......

It would be fair to say that I have a love hate relationship with the gym. I hate having to organise myself in the morning to go, hate having to exercise, but when I get there and once I start, I do enjoy it.  This on\off relationship has been going on more than 20 years now and I still can’t bring myself to walk away from it.  Before you think that I am a gym bunny, believe me I’m not.  If anything I would be the antithesis of a gym bunny.  I don’t have the latest hi-tech gear, I do like to get hot and sweaty and I don’t feel the necessity to wear makeup and have my hair looking good to work out.

But the strange thing is that since having kids it has become my place to escape to.  Sounds silly I admit, of all the places you can choose to escape from the kids (and Mr P and his bloody Sports Talk and Sky Sports) you wouldn’t think that the gym would come far up on the list... 

Why you may ask?  Well it is where every couple of days I get a full hour to switch off from everything else going on.  That’s a full hour where I don’t need to talk to anyone, I can listen to what I want to listen to, I can clear my head and “think”.  Think, do you remember doing that?  I don’t mean “think” as what should we have for dinner, the kids need new school clothes, what to get little Johnny for his birthday.  I mean “think”, that strange thing I used to do with my mind before it got cluttered with the daily grind of parenting. 

It’s an hour where in my mind I can think “how would I solve world peace”, “what shall I blog about” even daydream “do I really need those Christian Louboutin shoes”, “How would I spend my lotto millions”.  Okay perhaps those last two are fantasising a bit but that's the thing, my mind is free to wander and think all these weird and wonderful things while I plod along on the treadmill. 

An hour where I can people watch and try to slot them into one of 3 groups, the baggy t-shirters, the pretentious and serious gym goers.  Checking out whose boobs are real, wondering what possess the woman in front of me to wear a leopard print outfit and of course checking out the hot and sweaty men in the weights area.  All in that precious hour.  If I don’t feel like exercising then I can have a quiet coffee in the cafe all by myself.  The benefits of exercising can only come second to this me time.

Of course the fact that the gym also has a crèche where I can off load the kids for an hour or so a day has totally nothing to do with it!  Really it hasn’t.....

“Hold this one....”

41 years ago today these infamous words were spoken to my mother “Here hold this one while I get the other one”. “Get the other what” my mum was heard to shriek.  “Baby?” came the reply.  Yes, all those years ago I entered the world the elder of twin girls to the utter surprise to my parents.  It really was an utter shock to them, as not only was the pregnancy not planned, as they already 3 children, but twins!

Back in those days there were no scans available to check on what was going on with your pregnancy.  My mother had absolutely no idea that she was carrying twins.  There was the odd disagreement between the doctor and midwife about the number of heartbeats, the third faint one was just an echo apparently!  But the doctor was adamant that there was one very large baby and that was all.

Times where so much simpler then, my mum like many in her generation, ate what she wanted, drank (she wasn’t a big drinker) and smoked (like a chimney) unaware of the affect to her unborn babies.   They just got on with life, no sitting back and feeling sorry for themselves over morning sickness, or what to wear as it wasn’t a fashion show.  There were no celebrity mummies showing off their fantastic post baby bodies, to make you want to reach for the cookie jar.  You weren’t unique you were just pregnant like millions of women before and after.   If they had a problem or unsure of anything they just asked their own mothers, no going online to self diagnose yourself.  

I can hardly compare her experiences with mine as it is a far cry from the stresses of having a baby today.  Apart from the medical care you get now, which I must add helped me have my two boys, so I will be eternally grateful to the NHS.  There is the endless bombardment of the media telling you want you should and shouldn’t be doing.  How the decisions you are making now mean you are already a bad mother before you have even given birth. All the must have baby items that you need so you have a happy baby.  These items that you don’t really need, but think you do otherwise you aren’t a good mum.  That you eventually dig out of the bottom of the cupboard months later never used and wonder why on earth you brought it in the first place.

Makes me think, perhaps she had the better pregnancy experience than me.  Perhaps ignorance in some ways is bliss.... 


P.S.   Finally I thought I would share my birthday card from Mr P, arh he knows me so well...

My Growlery - 100 Word Challenge

“Get into your room” shouted mum.

“It’s not fair” I shouted back as I stomped into my room, slamming the door.

I always get the blame even when it is my younger brother that goes and makes a foozle of everything.

But what mum doesn’t know is that I love my room.  I can make my very own growlery, away from the noise and mithering of my brother.  Where I can grab the blankets from my bed and create my own secret hideaway. 

There will be no brabble going on in here; it is just me and my toys.

Bliss..

This post is part of the 100 Word Challenge hosted by The Heads Office, for more great posts head on over.

Definitions

Brabble – paltry, noisy quarrel

Growlery – place to growl, private room, den

Foozle – do clumsily, bungle, make a mess of

Silent Sunday

For more great photos for Silent Sunday pop yourself over to mocha beanie mummy