So it seems there is something else I don’t quite
understand. That perhaps a woman of my age should, something the media keeps
telling me I must have. What could this be, what must I have since I am a busy
woman of certain years who runs round trying to juggle everything at once?
Well let me set the scene..
Currently there is an ad on the TV here in NZ of a
former NZ Miss Universe, (Yes really we did actually win one once in the early
80’s.. Coincidentally it was when NZ was starting to go Nuclear free and with
the contest being held in the States.... well I am not one on conspiracies
theories but....) who is wearing a lovely silk evening gown going on about how
sometimes she has to wear this but would rather be wearing this... Next shot
she is shown in comfy clothes and somehow by eating this “magic” yoghurt she
feels so much better and confident to wear the dress and life is so much better
So it seems, since I am being told daily, I too
must have that “bloated, uncomfortable” feeling, where I want to go about all
day wearing comfy clothes as heaven forbid you just can’t wear fitting clothes
when feeling bloated! I too should be eating\drinking those little bottles of
“magic yoghurt” that will fix everything and make my day so much better.
But here is the problem; CAN someone
actually tell me what this “bloated” feeling is? What are these women on the
telly and in the magazines all going on about?? As I really have no idea!!
Now don’t get me wrong, my diet is not always the
best, I do feel bloated and at times do feel a bit uncomfortable wearing
fitting clothing but that is generally just after I have eaten a rather large
meal, followed by such goodies as dessert, coffee and wine. In my case it is
always self inflicted and it always it resolves itself the next morning by the
way nature intended. But a day to day feeling of being bloated, no I don’t
understand that. Surely if you are feeling a bit uncomfortable doesn’t a wee
fart or popping to the toilet normally resolve issues? According to some “scientific” research
conducted women apparently still have an issue admitting that they fart? So if an average person can or needs to fart up to 14 times a day and its not happening where is all that gas going? Yes people, shocking news
isn’t it but everyone does it, even the Queen so I’ve been told!
Surely I cannot be the only woman out there that
has no idea what they are going on about?
Of course I can’t help thinking, and as I said
before I am not into conspiracy theories but.....
Think how prevalent these yoghurts\drinks are now,
perhaps these big corporations have stumbled onto a money making machine caused by our busy lifestyles? Perhaps instead of "needing" these yogurts\drinks all we need to do is to eat properly, listen to our bodies a bit more.......
and have that occasional sneaky fart!
Heaven help me, who would have thought it? But it
seems that I am slowly turning into one of those mums... You know those shouty
mouthy mums who take their little darlings to their sports every week and then
decide to shout at them and tell them how to play? In our case it’s the nearly
6 year olds first season of playing hockey. Its proper hockey with sticks and
mouth guards and I am finding myself on the sidelines yelling at him “to hit
the ball”, “watch the ball” and my favourite “what are you standing there
for?”! So while I stand there getting all hot and bothered about it he is
nonchalantly standing there, singing to himself or using his hockey stick as a
ninja sword or light sabre.. Arrgghhhh!!!
Quite ironic really as I have been spending the
last couple of weeks telling everyone about an annoying shouty dad at swimming!
Who likes to yell in his very obvious accent (let’s just say he is from a very,
very, large country in the north Atlantic!!) swimming instructions to his son
while he is having a lesson.
Hmmm, what can I say other than “hello pot this is
To make matters even worse is that I have no idea
what he should be doing as I have never played a game of hockey in my life. I
have had to watch a few games (under duress I may add...), due to Mr P having
played it since he was a nipper but that’s it! So not only am I the shouty mum
shouting at her son I am also the shouty mum who actually has no idea what she
is shouting about!!
How bad is that??
I suppose we can blame my slightly competitive
nature, yes I like to win or to at least do well if I can’t win. So I want the
same for my sons, I want them to do well, their very best. I know the nearly 6 year old can do better,
that he can actually hit the ball quite well, I just want him to do it on the
field each week! Mr P is quite relaxed
about it all and thinks it will just sort itself out and the game will just
click for him. I hope so and if it doesn’t then fine at least he tried...
My sister who watched his games last weekend was “polite”
enough to point out that he is not the only one on the field looking like he
can’t be bothered. Mind you I don’t
think the parents of the children she was pointing out where that impressed
with her pointing this out!
So Mr P thinks it is best that I give the games a
miss for the next few weeks. Just so the
nearly 6 year old can ease himself into the game without his fishwife of a
mother shouting at him.
Good news, it should
give me enough time to read the hockey rule book......
If you are a hardened Lego geek then this post comes with a
warning. As this post contains Lego and glue,
yes that’s right Lego and glue!
So you may be thinking “What are you doing!!” But as I sit surrounded by boxes of Lego, instructions
and glue on my table it all makes perfect sense to me. That I have had enough, no more will I have
to hear cries of “Mummy Lightening McQueen is broken can you fix him” or “Mummy
where is the rest of my (..Insert any name of a fiddly piece of Lego...)!!” Now I don’t mean gluing together your general
Lego blocks I am talking about the kits, Star Wars, Cars 2, Ninjago, Super
Heroes, Lego City etc. You know the
expensive bits of Lego that you painfully put together only for them to be
broken 10 minutes later. Then the painful
cycle begins... rebuild....play.....break....cry....rebuild...play.....break.......cry.....
I don’t care if the main reason that Lego is a favourite toy worldwide
is because of the ability to reuse the bricks to build new things. Quite simply I have had it! There are only so many times one can rebuild
a Star Wars fighter, helicopter etc before one completely loses the plot with
the dam stuff.
Now don’t get me wrong I do love Lego myself and can spend hours playing
with it. After all I am the designated Lego builder
in our household and enjoy nothing better than getting a new kit and putting it
together. Perhaps that is why I get so
anxious when the boys start playing with it knowing that they will eventually
So over the last few months as the boys attentions have gone from one
piece to another I have secretly hidden them away. Plotting on how I am going to do this,
waiting until the time is right when I can sit and glue the pieces
So time for a gut check, do I still think it’s a good idea? Yes. Do the boys think I am crazy? Yes..... Does
Mr P think I am bonkers? Yes... Do I want to back out? No....! It just needs to be done for my sanity if nothing
So here goes.....
PS. Here’s a tip just in case you
think “wow what a great idea”. Don’t glue
the piece completely together, leave a few pieces unglued so if it drops it
will break but not shatter...
So it's week two since out clocks went back and I
think you can guess by the title of this post that I am less than impressed by
it! The reason being is a certain little person in our household who
seems to be stuck on NZ summertime so he thinks its okay to wake at 5am!!
Yes the one who is almost 3 hasn't quite got his body clock sorted yet so we
have the pleasure of him waking the household every morning at 5ish by turning
on all the lights and asking “Why is it dark mummy?” Needless to say it's
taking its toll on both of us. The other two males in the house seem to
have that ability that all males have which is to sleep thru any noise created by
a small person in the night. You know the one, “Huh noise, oh crap, roll
over, optional fart or itch, then back to sleep” You may think that this is a
rather generic statement but I am sure it just doesn’t happen in our household?
So he is permanently cranky and I am a walking zombie (also
cranky) who is craving a lie in to say, oh I don’t know, 6am perhaps...
It doesn’t help either that prior to the clocks going back he was managing to
go a couple of days without his daytime nap so he is still trying to do that. “I don’t need to sleep mummy as I am a big boy
now” Oh those words are coming back to haunt me now...
So it goes without saying that he is a walking
screaming tantrum throwing tyrant at the moment. Bless his little cotton
Of course in between the tantrums there are a few
comic moments like when he falls asleep while eating his lunch or when he
totally crashes where ever he was playing with his brother.
Oh I was so looking forward to the holidays and lying
in until after 7. Letting them sleep and to naturally wake up,
to have a leisurely breakfast and morning together. But no the tyrant
seems to have other plans for me.
But really, 10 days in and we both need more sleep and
he needs to get himself sorted or else I will be medicating both of us...