Sunday, 17 June 2012

Silent Sunday

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Silent Sunday

Wednesday, 13 June 2012

Bloated? What? Me!

So it seems there is something else I don’t quite understand. That perhaps a woman of my age should, something the media keeps telling me I must have. What could this be, what must I have since I am a busy woman of certain years who runs round trying to juggle everything at once?

Well let me set the scene..

Currently there is an ad on the TV here in NZ of a former NZ Miss Universe, (Yes really we did actually win one once in the early 80’s.. Coincidentally it was when NZ was starting to go Nuclear free and with the contest being held in the States.... well I am not one on conspiracies theories but....) who is wearing a lovely silk evening gown going on about how sometimes she has to wear this but would rather be wearing this... Next shot she is shown in comfy clothes and somehow by eating this “magic” yoghurt she feels so much better and confident to wear the dress and life is so much better for it!

So it seems, since I am being told daily, I too must have that “bloated, uncomfortable” feeling, where I want to go about all day wearing comfy clothes as heaven forbid you just can’t wear fitting clothes when feeling bloated! I too should be eating\drinking those little bottles of “magic yoghurt” that will fix everything and make my day so much better.

But here is the problem; CAN someone actually tell me what this “bloated” feeling is? What are these women on the telly and in the magazines all going on about?? As I really have no idea!!

Now don’t get me wrong, my diet is not always the best, I do feel bloated and at times do feel a bit uncomfortable wearing fitting clothing but that is generally just after I have eaten a rather large meal, followed by such goodies as dessert, coffee and wine. In my case it is always self inflicted and it always it resolves itself the next morning by the way nature intended. But a day to day feeling of being bloated, no I don’t understand that. Surely if you are feeling a bit uncomfortable doesn’t a wee fart or popping to the toilet normally resolve issues?  According to some “scientific” research conducted women apparently still have an issue admitting that they fart? So if an average person can or needs to fart up to 14 times a day and its not happening where is all that gas going? Yes people, shocking news isn’t it but everyone does it, even the Queen so I’ve been told!

Surely I cannot be the only woman out there that has no idea what they are going on about?

Of course I can’t help thinking, and as I said before I am not into conspiracy theories but.....

Think how prevalent these yoghurts\drinks are now, perhaps these big corporations have stumbled onto a money making machine caused by our busy lifestyles?  Perhaps instead of "needing" these yogurts\drinks all we need to do is to eat properly, listen to our bodies a bit more....... and have that occasional sneaky fart!

Wednesday, 16 May 2012

Help, I 'm turning into one of those mums....!!

Heaven help me, who would have thought it? But it seems that I am slowly turning into one of those mums... You know those shouty mouthy mums who take their little darlings to their sports every week and then decide to shout at them and tell them how to play? In our case it’s the nearly 6 year olds first season of playing hockey. Its proper hockey with sticks and mouth guards and I am finding myself on the sidelines yelling at him “to hit the ball”, “watch the ball” and my favourite “what are you standing there for?”! So while I stand there getting all hot and bothered about it he is nonchalantly standing there, singing to himself or using his hockey stick as a ninja sword or light sabre.. Arrgghhhh!!!

Quite ironic really as I have been spending the last couple of weeks telling everyone about an annoying shouty dad at swimming! Who likes to yell in his very obvious accent (let’s just say he is from a very, very, large country in the north Atlantic!!) swimming instructions to his son while he is having a lesson.

Hmmm, what can I say other than “hello pot this is kettle”!!

To make matters even worse is that I have no idea what he should be doing as I have never played a game of hockey in my life. I have had to watch a few games (under duress I may add...), due to Mr P having played it since he was a nipper but that’s it! So not only am I the shouty mum shouting at her son I am also the shouty mum who actually has no idea what she is shouting about!!

How bad is that??

I suppose we can blame my slightly competitive nature, yes I like to win or to at least do well if I can’t win. So I want the same for my sons, I want them to do well, their very best.  I know the nearly 6 year old can do better, that he can actually hit the ball quite well, I just want him to do it on the field each week!  Mr P is quite relaxed about it all and thinks it will just sort itself out and the game will just click for him. I hope so and if it doesn’t then fine at least he tried...

My sister who watched his games last weekend was “polite” enough to point out that he is not the only one on the field looking like he can’t be bothered.  Mind you I don’t think the parents of the children she was pointing out where that impressed with her pointing this out!

So Mr P thinks it is best that I give the games a miss for the next few weeks.  Just so the nearly 6 year old can ease himself into the game without his fishwife of a mother shouting at him.  

Good news, it should give me enough time to read the hockey rule book......

Sunday, 13 May 2012

Silent Sunday

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Silent Sunday

Sunday, 6 May 2012

Silent Sunday

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Silent Sunday

Thursday, 3 May 2012

“You did WHAT with the Lego”

If you are a hardened Lego geek then this post comes with a warning.  As this post contains Lego and glue, yes that’s right Lego and glue!

So you may be thinking “What are you doing!!”  But as I sit surrounded by boxes of Lego, instructions and glue on my table it all makes perfect sense to me.   That I have had enough, no more will I have to hear cries of “Mummy Lightening McQueen is broken can you fix him” or “Mummy where is the rest of my (..Insert any name of a fiddly piece of Lego...)!!”   Now I don’t mean gluing together your general Lego blocks I am talking about the kits, Star Wars, Cars 2, Ninjago, Super Heroes, Lego City etc.  You know the expensive bits of Lego that you painfully put together only for them to be broken 10 minutes later.  Then the painful cycle begins...

I don’t care if the main reason that Lego is a favourite toy worldwide is because of the ability to reuse the bricks to build new things.  Quite simply I have had it!  There are only so many times one can rebuild a Star Wars fighter, helicopter etc before one completely loses the plot with the dam stuff. 

Now don’t get me wrong I do love Lego myself and can spend hours playing with it.  After all I am the designated Lego builder in our household and enjoy nothing better than getting a new kit and putting it together.  Perhaps that is why I get so anxious when the boys start playing with it knowing that they will eventually break it.

So over the last few months as the boys attentions have gone from one piece to another I have secretly hidden them away.  Plotting on how I am going to do this, waiting until the time is right when I can sit and glue the pieces together.    

So time for a gut check, do I still think it’s a good idea? Yes.  Do the boys think I am crazy? Yes.....   Does Mr P think I am bonkers? Yes... Do I want to back out? No....!  It just needs to be done for my sanity if nothing else....

So here goes.....

PS.  Here’s a tip just in case you think “wow what a great idea”.  Don’t glue the piece completely together, leave a few pieces unglued so if it drops it will break but not shatter...

Wednesday, 11 April 2012

Argh, Daylight bloody Savings.......!!!

So it's week two since out clocks went back and I think you can guess by the title of this post that I am less than impressed by it!  The reason being is a certain little person in our household who seems to be stuck on NZ summertime so he thinks its okay to wake at 5am!!

Yes the one who is almost 3 hasn't quite got his body clock sorted yet so we have the pleasure of him waking the household every morning at 5ish by turning on all the lights and asking “Why is it dark mummy?”  Needless to say it's taking its toll on both of us.  The other two males in the house seem to have that ability that all males have which is to sleep thru any noise created by a small person in the night.  You know the one, “Huh noise, oh crap, roll over, optional fart or itch, then back to sleep” You may think that this is a rather generic statement but I am sure it just doesn’t happen in our household?

So he is permanently cranky and I am a walking zombie (also cranky) who is craving a lie in to say, oh I don’t know, 6am perhaps...

It doesn’t help either that prior to the clocks going back he was managing to go a couple of days without his daytime nap so he is still trying to do that.  “I don’t need to sleep mummy as I am a big boy now” Oh those words are coming back to haunt me now...

So it goes without saying that he is a walking screaming tantrum throwing tyrant at the moment.  Bless his little cotton socks!
Of course in between the tantrums there are a few comic moments like when he falls asleep while eating his lunch or when he totally crashes where ever he was playing with his brother.

Oh I was so looking forward to the holidays and lying in until after 7.  Letting them sleep and to naturally wake up, to have a leisurely breakfast and morning together.  But no the tyrant seems to have other plans for me.

But really, 10 days in and we both need more sleep and he needs to get himself sorted or else I will be medicating both of us...

Sunday, 8 April 2012

Silent Sunday

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Silent Sunday

Thursday, 5 April 2012

Crikey where has that year gone??

Well isn't it amazing how time flies when you are having fun?  Of course I am using the word “fun” rather loosely.  With moping around for a bit after being made redundant, then relocating the family back to NZ, finding somewhere to live and of course moving in, I missed the grand occasion of Frankie Parker turning 1.
So Happy Birthday to Frankie P or is it Happy Anniversary.......???

Yes it was back in March last year that I decided to give this blogging lark a go and in that time I think, no I am pretty much sure, I have seen it all.  The good, the bad and very ugly side of the blogging and twitter community.  Everything from the cliques, bitchiness and backstabbing, to the caring, well meaning and supportive comments and tweets.  It always makes me think whether I would see this sort of thing if I wasn’t in a “mummy” blogging network?   Really, if you don’t like what someone has written, let it go, move on, life is far too short to worry about the opinions or thoughts of someone you are never going to meet!

Like all new bloggers, there were times where I was continually obsessing about posting something, why I wasn’t getting comments, where I was in the monthly rankings,  but then real life would pop up and make me realise that blogging isn’t a competition or the be all and end all.  It’s what I do to keep the grey matter still ticking along.  I do it for myself and for no one else.  Of course it’s great to get comments and know that someone is actually reading my ramblings.  So a big thanks for taking the time to read my little corner of the blogosphere especially those that have been there from the start.  You know who you are....

In that time I have meet (not in person, but you know what I mean) some great bloggers and read some great posts, some have made me laugh, some have made me cry, some have made me think (yah!) and some that I can just relate to so well its quite scary.  More importantly I now know what I like to write about and what I like to read.

So is it “Chin-Chin” and here’s to another year?  Not sure, I would like to think so but the lack of desire to blog which I wrote about back in January is still lurking about.  But I am now picking up pen and paper to jot things down.  So that has to be a good thing, right?

But what I do know is that Frankie P needs some loving so a new blog profile and photo are top of the list for her me thinks.

Tuesday, 20 March 2012

It's Daylight Bloody Robbery....

I see you there sitting on the shelf, sitting with all the other “Imported” goods. Looking at me, imploring with me to pick you up, to roll you round in my hands, to take you home.

But I can’t... or rather I won't! It’s not that I can’t afford you; it’s just that I can’t bring myself to spend $4 on you knowing that in London you are a measly 68 pence!

So let’s do the maths, 68p converted at today’s rate would be only $1.30. So not only are you twice the price of the Kiwi equivalent you are 3 times are much as you are in England. So being the principled person that I am and more importantly of Scottish descent, that is simply why I will not be buying you. That is why I leave you sitting on the shelf every time I am in the supermarket.

Because its daylight BLOODY robbery!!

Oh, but you do taste so good. Funny thing is I never liked you until we met again in London. I remember trying you as a youngster, cooked in a billy over an open fire on a school camping trip and “Blech, disgusting, not eating that again!! But then my sister re-introduced us, one soggy Sunday morning along with Marks and Spencer Ultimate Mash..  Ah it was the perfect comfort food for a dodgy hangover.

Hmmm.....  Oh I do so miss having you for brunch on Sunday with my eggs... 

So perhaps you can be my little secret, hidden at the back of the pantry, hidden in amongst the other canned goods. Hidden, so Mr P and the boys don’t see you. They can have the less tasty Kiwi version; they would be none the wiser. I could wait until I am home alone to bring you out, cook you up and scoff you down. Mmmm, I know it’s not nice not to share, but too bad. I make the rules so I can break them...

But, No!!

But really, why not I ask myself? When we were in London I had no problem going to the NZ shop and spending £4 or £5 on a pack of biscuits or some chocolate. Surely this is the same?

No, no of course it isn’t!  Then I just wanted a slice of “home”, something tasty to remind me of what I was missing out on.  To remind me of my childhood.

No, you will not be coming home with me.  I simply cannot bring myself to spend $4 on a can of Baked Beans... 

But I may stop by next time I see you, just so we can have a moment together perhaps even a quick roll in my hands.....

Sunday, 18 March 2012

Silent Sunday

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Silent Sunday

Tuesday, 13 March 2012


Woo hoo, we are in....  Finally after 5 months of living out of suitcases and turning my sister’s life and house upside down we are finally in our own place.  Okay, perhaps at this stage it is more the banks then ours but nonetheless we now have a place to call home.

All our stuff survived the boat trip out from the UK, all 202 boxes with nothing broken or damaged.  It is utterly amazing how much junk you accumulate and then pay to get shipped across the other side of the world!  Of course there has to be a reason why the broken laptop made its way out here!  Or why the movers thought we would want the broken door handles from our old kitchen or keys to the back door?  Then there are the heavy duty winter coats and boots we have.  Not really needed where the average winter temperature in this city is 11 degrees (Celsius).  We could make use of them and go skiing but since I have a pure hatred of snow brought on by the last five winters in London I don’t think that will be happening any time sort.  Mr P is yet to explain why he thought we would need the snow shovel and sled!

Also I am absolutely sure I cleaned everything before we left but apparently the yoghurt stains on the sofas (don’t worry they are leather) have proven me to be a lair.  The only thing that seems to be missing is a broom and feather duster but I can and have lived without them before.  The boys are ecstatic of course to have all their toys, not to mention their own bedrooms again.

Some things are a bit weird, like seeing all our furniture from London in totally new surroundings.  Going to redial a number on our phone and seeing all our London friends’ numbers or the number to our old local Chinese.  Where once I would be typing this and looking out at a magnolia tree in full spring bloom I am now looking out at palm trees and listening to the noisy sound of cicadas.  It may sound tropical but it is still suburbia... 

I still do not have the settled feeling and still have many decisions to make for myself but at least now I can do it knowing we have a place of our own and that the boys are happy. 

I still wish that we had settled back in Wellington not Auckland as that is where we are from but hey shit happens.  As they say “Don’t look a gift horse in the mouth”, we were lucky enough to get out here as quick as we did with a job for Mr P. 

So chin chin, here’s to the next 10 or so years in Auckland.  Lets hope they are as good to us as the years in London were...

Sunday, 11 March 2012

Silent Sunday

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Silent Sunday

Sunday, 4 March 2012

Silent Sunday

Friday, 17 February 2012

Oh shit the boys.......!!

So I had a moment the other day, it was a true “save yourself” moment. Just for a split second or two, okay maybe five I was just concerned about myself.  A true moment where I actually forgot about my little treasures (aka the boys)!

So picture the scene....

There we were in a beautiful secluded bay on one of the islands about an hour out of Auckland. The water was so clear that you could see the sandy bottom beneath. Sounds almost perfect right?  Apart from the fact it was so bloody cold!  Typically we picked the worse day of a long weekend to have a family outing on the boat.  We had the day planned out, stopping along the way for a bit of fishing, then stopping at a bay for lunch and a swim.  Generally getting the boys used to being out and about on the water.

So anyway there we were playing in the water, trying to convince the boys that it was warm while covered in goose bumps and trying not to mutter too loudly about how frigging cold it was.  Then I spotted something out of the corner of my eye. 

"Hmmm that’s strange" I thought, "what’s that?"  

So I looked again and there swimming towards me (I am so sure it was after me) was a large black shape.  Did I mention how clear the water was?  Then the panic truly set in.  

“FUCK, there is something in the water” I screamed while running like a lunatic out of the water. 

Then I heard something that was a bit like hitting a brick wall, “mummy, mummy, MUMMY!”  Oh SHIT the boys, oh the shame, oh the bad mother guilt!

On turning round and looking back in the water, Son Number 1 looked close to tears with his arms stretched out and Son Number 2 was looking his usual confused self trying to get a closer look at what was now swimming around them.  As there were now not one but two black shapes enjoying the water with them! 

So after quickly recomposing myself, the brave and dignified person that I am, went back into the water to rescue the boys.  While trying to avoid what turned out to be two stingrays that had decided to spend their afternoon in the same secluded bay as us. 

So hit with the double whammy of freezing water and the stingrays the rest of the afternoon passed pretty much uneventful on the beach.  Where Son number 1 had to do his first poo in the bush in true Kiwi style and I had to wee behind a tree because there was no way either of us was going back into the water unless it was time to leave. 

Oh and before you think he was going to poo in the water, there is a loo on the boat.....

Friday, 10 February 2012

The Procrastinator within..... Part two..

Note to self..

You really need to do it!  You can only put it off for so long!  You know he is more than ready for it so why are you dragging it out as long as you can?

There are no more excuses you have used them all now:

“I can’t just yet as we are moving back to New Zealand”

“Wait a week or two until he is settled”

“After Christmas, after all we have a return 10 hour drive to deal with”

“Once the school holidays are over when there are no distractions”

No it has to be done, after all his brother was done much younger than he is now and it went okay. 

So what is stopping you?  The mess, the staying in, the running round after him, checking up on him, what?

“So what is stopping me?”

It’s kissing goodbye to his babyhood and recognising the little person he is becoming.  It’s like watching him ride off on his bike without me for the first time, watching him jump into the pool without me to catch him and loving it.   It’s realising that soon he will no longer need me as much as he does now. It’s another little step towards his independence.  Its all this and much, much more....  

Because he is no longer our little baby!

Of course I have many more excuses in my head why to put it off for another month or so.  Perhaps wait until we move at the end of this month?  

But no, I know it needs to be done.  So this is the weekend to do it....

Potty training here we come!!

Sunday, 5 February 2012

Silent Sunday

Silent Sunday was the inspiration of Jay over at mocha beanie mummy

Tuesday, 31 January 2012

It's a bit late I know..........

Happy New Year to you all...

It has been over a month since I have written a post.  I would like to say it’s because I have been too busy or that it’s because I have lost my blogging mojo.  But no, not really.  The main reason is simply that I haven’t been bothered with blogging or even Twitter for that matter.  I have managed (just) to check my Google Reader but that is only every now and then.  

So why no blogging? 

Well, because I have had absolutely no desire whatsoever to blog\write or tweet about anything. Not sure why really, it certainly isn’t because I haven’t got anything to say.  I still have those thoughts and little conversations swirling around in my head that I usually end up writing down.

I don’t know, perhaps it’s just all the change we have gone thru moving countries, I am as much out of my daily routine as the boys are.  Also, it is the summer holidays over here at the moment and lucky for us the schools got an extra week off due to the term times being changed last year to accommodate the Rugby World Cup.  Can you think of any other country in the world that would change their school year to accommodate a Rugby competition?  No, I didn’t think so!  Good news is that they are back at school this Thursday, and that’s a big collective Yah!!!! 

Of course there is also the possibly that once you are out of the habit of doing something everyday then you soon learn to live without it.  Living without blogging and twitter now that’s a thought isn’t it! 

But no, to be honest, it’s just me being extremely lazy and unmotivated.  At the moment I just can’t be arsed.

So this week I have promised myself that I will give myself a big kick up the backside and sort my shit out.  Do all the things I have been putting off and start writing down all the stuff that is in my head.

So watch this space... 

And if there is still nothing in a month’s time can someone please give me a great big cyber kick up the back side...

Sunday, 22 January 2012

Silent Sunday

Silent Sunday was created by Jay over at mocha beanie mummy

Sunday, 15 January 2012

Silent Sunday

Silent Sunday was created by Jay over at mocha beanie mummy