Ill Fated love affair

It was the summer of 2010 and although I had seen you about and thought “yeah I could have that” nothing more had crossed my mind. But that summer it all changed. I knew that I wanted, no needed you, that my life would be complete with you. The more I saw you when I was out and about that desire for you grew more and more. I decided my husband need not know who or what you were.

Then a chance meeting on Marylebone High Street, I grabbed you and we disappeared into our own private room. We got close, I began to undress and then the realisation struck me...

Bollocks, Bollocks.... F**king Bollocks..!! You have skinny legs, I have chunky calves, surely this doesn’t mean that I am not meant to have you? How did I not see this before we got into the room? I can’t get you off, you are firmly stuck, I am panicking, doing the penguin walk, what am I to do? Then two becomes three as I struggle to take you off, I call my friend in to help. We tug and tug trying to be careful that you don’t rip; blood is drawn as we undo the zips to see if that helps. But it doesn’t.

Finally after what seems like hours, we emerge from the room, hot, sweaty and slightly embarrassed. Giggling, I get that knowing look from the other women in the shop. I have one last moment with you then I put you back knowing that we were never meant to be.

But you will always be in my thoughts x

That holiday feeling....

Being the first week of not working I found myself walking from room to room not exactly looking for things to do just wandering about talking to myself.  I kept being drawn over to my laptop to check my work email, only to remember that there wouldn’t be any.  On the couple of times I went up to London on the train I was desperately wanting to check my personal email.  A wee habit that I got into while commuting back and forth from London, only to realise that that I no longer had a blackberry.

Is it possible to have withdrawal symptoms from not having a blackberry or working, well after the week I have had I think the answer to that would be yes.

So how did I fill the first week?  Well I would like to say by going to the gym, cooking healthy meals for my boys and endless coffee mornings but that is far from the truth.  I spent it feeling a little sorry for myself and when in that state I tend to do pointless shopping.  Some people comfort eat I comfort shop!!  So needless to say my boys now have clothes they don’t need and I have acquired more pots and pans and chocolate biscuits than I need. 

I did however manage to write a “TO DO” list.  You know a list of what needs to be done around the house, things that I have been putting off for ages as I was too busy with work and the boys...  Obviously I have no excuses now not to do these things I just can’t be bothered at the moment to begin to tackle what is on the list.  Think I will put that down to still feeling sorry for myself..

So in short it was a very unproductive week, where I just felt like I was on holiday; the cleaner is still coming round, groceries are still being delivered and the boys are still eating M&S kids’ meals. 

So what is in store for this week, well for one I need to get a grip on reality and realise that it is not all that bad in the great scheme of things.  I have friends who would give their front teeth to not have to work, who think I am really lucky.  So with that in mind I am going to embrace the fact that I don’t have to go to work and start doing all the things I need to do..

I will let you know how I get on...