My Epiphany...

This week I had a bit of a epiphany and it went a little bit like this..

On Monday i went into London to have lunch with my old work colleagues, another “last team lunch” at our local pub near work.  So as we sat there discussing what was happening in Libya, the previous weekends six nation’s results and the upcoming football internationals it suddenly occurred to me that the thing I was going to miss most was their company?  Yes some of the guys in particular but want I really mean is male company. 

You see the majority of my working life has been in IT, the last 5 years as a manager of a team of 16 and only two of the team were women.  So I have always worked with men and I enjoy their company so before the comment is taken the wrong way in a sexual, pervy kind of way let me explain... 

Men are uncomplicated creatures.  They don’t bitch about what each other is wearing, or pass judgement on what you are wearing, they don’t try and compete over the silly things, never on diets, you never find them crying in the toilets and they really don’t care if they are having bad hair days!.  But most of importantly for me is what you see is what you get, it’s as simple as that.  If you have a disagreement over something it is soon forgotten not dragged up again next time you are having a night out (in a flood of tears).  If you think they have over stepped the mark on something you can tell them without (generally) them getting upset.  You can laugh with them at stuff that might be a little bit inappropriate but its okay as they won’t judge you over it.  So you see working with men is easy, so after 17 years in their company I just relate so much better to men than women...

So now, not only have I become a stay at home mum but I also need to learn to relate better with my own gender.  Don’t get me wrong I do have a lot of female friends and three sisters who I am very close to. But what I need to do is the small talk at the school gates, show an interest in what other people’s children’s are doing, chat to the other mums at birthday parties. 

This may seem like a simple and easy thing for a lot of you to do but to me it fills me with trepidation and dread as I really don’t know what to talk to them about  AND I will have to watch my language as well..

10 years and Tough Love

Well this week we celebrated 10 years of marriage, a perfectly happy and blissful marriage?  Yes sometimes, however, it does seem like a lifetime. Perhaps that is because we have almost spent half my lifetime together!  If you are trying to work it out, we have been together for 17 years..

 But the thing that gets me the most is that when you tell people the first thing they say is not “Congratulations” or “Well done” as you would think 10 years is quite an accomplishment these days.  But it is “What did you get”?  When they hear that you were given nothing as “we don’t bother buying presents” there is a general look of shock on their faces.  Really does every celebration of any kind now have to have a commercial aspect to it?  Neither of us needs anything so why spend money on more crap that we don’t need!  Easter is another prime example, Easter Eggs and presents, what is that all about?  What happened about just feeding children copious amounts of chocolate until they were sick?

I had to practice a bit of tough love this week with Son no 1 as he thought it was hilarious to run around the school playground when the bell rings and hide.  So I stand there yelling at him to get to class while struggling with a kicking and screaming Son no 2 who, unlike his brother wants to follow the other kids into class.  So on Monday I had had enough of being a screaming banshee and told him quite straight that if he didn’t get into class that he was not allowed the iPad or laptop after school.  His response was just too laugh at me and hide..  Well the last laugh was on him that night when he realised that I meant it.  After his crying and howling session of him telling me “it’s not fair” he soon realised that I wasn’t going to cave in.  So now every morning this week he has lined up and gone straight into class.  A perfect result I say..

I read with no surprise in the Times 2 last night about a middle class single mum of one and how she feels ostracised by other middle class mums once they realise that she is a single parent.  As if being a single mum requires you to be from an estate and have a Croydon facelift.  Why as a gender do we feel the need to judge other women by their appearance, husbands or their children?  We have all done it, you see someone at the school gate, play group or nursery and instantly you form an opinion about them.  Be it right or wrong and if by chance you actually get to know them you realise how wrong you were from the start.   As a gender we are our worse enemies. People bang on about inequality between men and women but what about the inequality and treatment of each other between women?  Surely this needs to be rectified before we can work on the other inequalities and sexual discrimination that we face.

Hmmm, I think that may of been my first rant!

So all in all a better week this week.  Went up to London a couple of times, to catch up with people.  Managed to get to the gym a couple of times as well which was good as I was able to catch up with my Mummy friends.  Who are both stories in themselves..  Best of all, no online shopping this week so I must have been having a better week.

Oh yeah and I got my P45 today and the birthday season has started for me, what do you buy 5 year old girls?

That holiday feeling....

Being the first week of not working I found myself walking from room to room not exactly looking for things to do just wandering about talking to myself.  I kept being drawn over to my laptop to check my work email, only to remember that there wouldn’t be any.  On the couple of times I went up to London on the train I was desperately wanting to check my personal email.  A wee habit that I got into while commuting back and forth from London, only to realise that that I no longer had a blackberry.

Is it possible to have withdrawal symptoms from not having a blackberry or working, well after the week I have had I think the answer to that would be yes.

So how did I fill the first week?  Well I would like to say by going to the gym, cooking healthy meals for my boys and endless coffee mornings but that is far from the truth.  I spent it feeling a little sorry for myself and when in that state I tend to do pointless shopping.  Some people comfort eat I comfort shop!!  So needless to say my boys now have clothes they don’t need and I have acquired more pots and pans and chocolate biscuits than I need. 

I did however manage to write a “TO DO” list.  You know a list of what needs to be done around the house, things that I have been putting off for ages as I was too busy with work and the boys...  Obviously I have no excuses now not to do these things I just can’t be bothered at the moment to begin to tackle what is on the list.  Think I will put that down to still feeling sorry for myself..

So in short it was a very unproductive week, where I just felt like I was on holiday; the cleaner is still coming round, groceries are still being delivered and the boys are still eating M&S kids’ meals. 

So what is in store for this week, well for one I need to get a grip on reality and realise that it is not all that bad in the great scheme of things.  I have friends who would give their front teeth to not have to work, who think I am really lucky.  So with that in mind I am going to embrace the fact that I don’t have to go to work and start doing all the things I need to do..

I will let you know how I get on... 

Who am I and why a blog?

Q: So who was I?

A:  I was a full time working mum of two boys living in London and trying to balance it all. 

Q: Who am I now?

A:  I am now a stay at home mum of two boys having just been made redundant (last week) and trying to adjust to a new way of life.

So that is me, having worked all my adult life I am now jobless and have made the rather daunting decision to stay at home to look after my boys.  Which to a lot of mums and dads out there would seem like a sensible idea but to me I am not sure.  Work was and is an important part of who I am.  It kept me sane in the midst of all the juggling, it was where I went to be me.   But I am going to park that bit of my life for a while and concentrate on my fabulous boys.  As I always knew from when the eldest was born that this day would come about.

So this blog is my way of trying to replicate the daily chit chat by the water cooler\printer\photocopier or the frequent soapbox rants that used to occur due to the injustice in this world.  Not to mention to bore everyone with the daily ups and downs of having two energetic boys to look after.

So this is my story on moving into a different phase of my life, I am just not sure if I am ready for it yet.

P.S..  Needless to say my husband is ecstatic about it as it means he no longer has to help with the nursery\school run or sick days.