Thursday, 8 December 2011

Okay, okay, I admit it...

It would be fair to say that the last 8 months or so I have been in denial to what or who I am.  But that all changed this week with the click of a mouse button when I was asked for my occupation at the bank.  I am not currently working was my reply, so with a CLICK I became a ‘housewife’.  Right before my eyes, CLICK, just like that.  Apparently there was no need to discuss this with me.  It seems that any woman who has children and isn’t in employment must be a housewife!  So the decision was made while I sat there quietly outraged (that’s my inner feminist) and Mr. P just smirked knowingly!

You see I haven’t really come to terms yet to say that I am a SAHM.  To all new people I meet and on any forms that I need to complete I am still an IT Manager.  Someone who works and has a life outside of children and the home, but who is currently having an unexpected extended break.  Why do I do this still?  No idea, but I have read some pretty good blogs recently about lost of identity and what life was like before children.  So I guess that pretty much sums up how I feel.  That with that little click the last 20 years of my life and experiences has somehow been wiped out.  That my role in life has now changed to that of a housewife because that is what society or the bank’s computer system thinks I am.  So what will this new role bring I ask?  Will I still be interesting to other people?  Will “Yes hello, I am currently at home with the kids” be met with blank stares or even worst that pitying smirk that some people like to give.  Will I lose whatever fashion sense I had while working and resort to anything that is comfy?  Will my ability to drink copious amounts of alcohol disappear since I no longer have work drinks or even worst am I am expected not to drink (copious amounts) since I am now a housewife? 

Now of course there is nothing wrong with being called a housewife, after all that is what many of my friends are.  But it does scream (well to me) images of a perfectly coiffure woman in an apron, holding babies and smiling sweetly at hubby.  Not the reality of a over tired woman trying to juggle housework, food shopping, school run, afterschool activities, cooking, bathing and story reading.

But the alternatives are not any better, Home Executive, Home maker, Soccer Mom, Lady of the house, Home Economist!  I mean really, am I the only one that thinks this? 

I think I will settle for what my mum used to say in her younger days when we were all still at home… “wife, mother, chief cook and bottle washer”. 

Just try fitting that into your little box Mr. Bank Manager!


BavarianSojourn said...

You may be a housewife, but I am now a hausfrau... Now I prefer your title funnily enough!! Hope you're well Mrs! :) xx

Frankie P said...

Cheers, all good here jsut taking a bit to settle in.... xx

Anonymous said...

I know exactly where you're coming from with this. People in a professional position do tend to view housewives and SAHM's as the lesser intellectual of society, women who can't really do a "proper" job so choose to stay at home and veg on the sofa. It's pretty annoying to say the least. I'm a work-at-home-mum and I think if someone classed me as being a housewife, I'd be a bit irritated, too.

CJ x

Mari's World said...

I'm a SAHM mum too... binge drinker? (probably) Couch potato? (I wish!) Head Cook and Bottle Washer ALL THE TIME!
I have reached the point where it doesn't bother me any more especially since I started my blog and have met so many entrepreneurial women out there that have inspired me to be me me.
Enjoy the moment xx

Stigmum said...

I can powerfully relate to what you are saying. If I were a SAHM I don't know what or how I'd think of myself. I struggle as I am. My partner is the State, so on forms I have to put "unemployed". Unemployed!!! I scrounge, I don't feed, me. I don't'm 'workshy' (which has some truth in it I guess if you saw the state of my living room...)
Like Mari says, try enjoy the moment, know that you are more than what you are or told to be. I wish there were less patronising words to describe us mothers but we can't be contained, and that's the problem society has with us I think. Poor society I say, not poor us!

Mrs D said...

I like your honesty. It sure is tough doing this mummy job. One of the hardest I rekon, thankless for sure but the most important jobs there is eh (she says through gritted teeth!).. Cheers...glad I found your blog! xxx