Monday, 15 August 2011

Hey, Mr Fox.....


Dear Mr Fox

It’s over between us!  The honeymoon period of 4 ½ years is totally finished, it’s no more.  Yes, we used to think you cute and endearing, the boys gathering round the windows at dawn and dusk to watch you in the garden.  Hell I even used to leave the odd chicken carcass out for you, and how do you repay me?  By shitting on my lawn!  No, actually you crap wherever it takes your fancy, lawn, footpath, doorstep, hell you have even managed to crap on the boy’s slide a couple of times!

Now Mr Fox, don’t think I have turned anti-fox on you, I haven’t.  I have no problem with you living at the end of the garden, you just need to stop crapping everywhere.  Honestly I don’t want to have to do poo patrol every morning before the boys go out to play.  My boys are Kiwi kids they want to be able to run around outside in their barefoot without running through berry infested poo!

Hell, the liberal leftie bit of me even supported the hunting ban, stopping your country cousins from being torn apart by dogs.  So I feel the least you can do is to cut me some slack and stop using our garden as your own private loo!

So in closing Mr Fox, you can snooze on my lawn, tear the odd ball up but if you want to poo can you pop next door?

Yours

Frankie P  xx

PS..  Be warned Mr Fox, Mr P grew up hunting in the countryside so is a dab hand with a rifle..



13 comments:

JoJo said...

oh foxes scare me! one walked up my street one night as the same time as I was closing the blinds and it looked straight at me!!!!!!!

Frankie P said...

Hey Jojo

You wouldn't like it here then, we have a couple that live down the back. They walk round bold as brass during the day, sleeping where ever they want.. cheeky bastards!

nicsnotebook.com said...

Oh no fox poo is meant to be really stinky lol... OUr dogs love it tho!!!

Sarah said...

I will only say this once - Jealous!!!! A fox awww. How awesome... Shame about the crap!!

Frankie P said...

Nic - please don't tell me they roll it in... Yucky..

Sarah - they are only cute for so long, the novelty soon wears off..

Emma said...

It is very obviously not your garden anymore. Mr Fox has claimed it as his own!! Lion poo is supposed to help as is squirting them with a water pistol! Advice from my dad there for you! The foxes in London always used to make me laugh, I once saw one running up the middle of our road with a kebab in its mouth!! Emma :)

Frankie P said...

Hmm, lion poo not sure i can get my hands on any of that.. I have tried the water pistrols but they are too quick, works for the cats thou..

Emma said...

Don't worry, you don't have to go to a zoo and climb any fences, garden centre's sell it! :)

Frankie P said...

Best i get down to the local garden centre then, thanks for the tip....

BlueBearWood said...

Aww, love the foxes. Our garden is always full of pooh - rabbit pooh, fox pooh, cat pooh, badger pooh and seagull pooh. Probably squirrel Pooh as well. Irritating but think the benefits out weigh. xxx

Frankie P said...

Yeah the bebfits do outweight it at times, it jsut seems to be this year that we are being inundated with it...

I'm So Fancy said...

Not quite a Roald Dahl kind of fox, is he? You are very brave.

Sarahmumof3 said...

oh naughty Mr Fox thanks for popping over my blog, I use Paint Shop Pro for my digital scrapbooking, I might do some tutorials and put them up on my blog, when I do ill give you a shout :)