Silent Sunday

Silent Sunday was created by Jay over at mocha beanie mummy

Silent Sunday

Silent Sunday was created by Jay over at mocha beanie mummy

Bah Humbug.......

Well it seems that I am a bad mother, yet again!  According to Son No 1 life is not fair and it’s entirely my fault.  Of course being this time of year it has to do with Christmas or in our case the lack of anything Christmassy in the house.

 

Him: “Mum, why don’t we have a Christmas tree this year”

Me:  “I thought we wouldn’t bother since we aren’t going to be here for Christmas, your auntie will have one up when we get there”

Him: “That’s not fair, what about decorations?”

Me: “What about them?”

 Or

Him: “Mum, why don’t I have a chocolate calendar?”

Me:  “Because you don’t need one.”

Him:  “But everyone at school has one”

Me:  “That’s nice for them but you don’t need one, we didn’t have them in my day”

Now before you think that yes, I do in fact deserve the Bad Mum of the Year award and that I am a pretty miserable person, let me explain...

I don’t get Christmas or more the point I can’t see the point in it.  Apart from the religious side of it that some people still celebrate, what really is the point?  Ask any child nowadays about what Christmas means to them and it will all be about the presents.  Surely this alone shows just how commercialised the whole festive season has become.  Is there really a need for shops to start displaying Christmas decorations or signs in September other than to try and get the early dollar off us mere consumers?  The consumers, who at the first sign of anything Christmassy in the shops start to panic and so the list making and present buying frenzy begins. 

Yes it’s a time of year that for most will get a few days off work and have the opportunity to catch up with family and friends.  But I am sure for most people they can do that at any time of the year and not have to pay over the top in doing so.  I for one do not need advertising companies and stores telling me what I should be doing and what I should be spending my hard earn cash on.  You know the lists in the papers and magazines of those “must have gifts”, really?  If I am going to be forced into buying presents for my children then I will buy what I want them to have or what they need.  As the food, do we really need to eat all that food which in most households goes to waste?

Let’s also not forget that for some this time of year is not that festive.  It is proven that at this time of year domestic violence increases, while hospitals are overloaded with drunks.  Some families will have to choose whether to buy presents or pay those important household bills.  Parents will be getting stressed with the fear\pressure that the children can’t miss out on the top toys\gadgets\clothes.  After all what would the other school gate mums think if little” so and so” doesn’t have the must have toy or shoes..

Really is it all worth it? 

So yes I really don’t see the point and can think of better things to do over this period but for the sake of the boys and my family I will be going thru the motions this Sunday.  Especially as it will be our first Christmas back in NZ with the boys.  So we will have the presents, eat all that unnecessary food, try not to argue with each other while having started drinking mid morning.  After all it’s Christmas and no harm in having a wee drink after breakfast! 

But I will also be looking forward to the time I can tell my boys “look he just isn’t real” and that friends and family are important all thru the year not just at Christmas.  That they need to appreciate what they have and that presents don't represent how much someone loves you.  That the latest must have "whatever" doesn't make you a better person.

Also in case you are wondering I also don’t see the point in Valentine’s Day, Easter and Halloween either!

Okay, okay, I admit it...

It would be fair to say that the last 8 months or so I have been in denial to what or who I am.  But that all changed this week with the click of a mouse button when I was asked for my occupation at the bank.  I am not currently working was my reply, so with a CLICK I became a ‘housewife’.  Right before my eyes, CLICK, just like that.  Apparently there was no need to discuss this with me.  It seems that any woman who has children and isn’t in employment must be a housewife!  So the decision was made while I sat there quietly outraged (that’s my inner feminist) and Mr. P just smirked knowingly!

You see I haven’t really come to terms yet to say that I am a SAHM.  To all new people I meet and on any forms that I need to complete I am still an IT Manager.  Someone who works and has a life outside of children and the home, but who is currently having an unexpected extended break.  Why do I do this still?  No idea, but I have read some pretty good blogs recently about lost of identity and what life was like before children.  So I guess that pretty much sums up how I feel.  That with that little click the last 20 years of my life and experiences has somehow been wiped out.  That my role in life has now changed to that of a housewife because that is what society or the bank’s computer system thinks I am.  So what will this new role bring I ask?  Will I still be interesting to other people?  Will “Yes hello, I am currently at home with the kids” be met with blank stares or even worst that pitying smirk that some people like to give.  Will I lose whatever fashion sense I had while working and resort to anything that is comfy?  Will my ability to drink copious amounts of alcohol disappear since I no longer have work drinks or even worst am I am expected not to drink (copious amounts) since I am now a housewife? 

Now of course there is nothing wrong with being called a housewife, after all that is what many of my friends are.  But it does scream (well to me) images of a perfectly coiffure woman in an apron, holding babies and smiling sweetly at hubby.  Not the reality of a over tired woman trying to juggle housework, food shopping, school run, afterschool activities, cooking, bathing and story reading.

But the alternatives are not any better, Home Executive, Home maker, Soccer Mom, Lady of the house, Home Economist!  I mean really, am I the only one that thinks this? 

I think I will settle for what my mum used to say in her younger days when we were all still at home… “wife, mother, chief cook and bottle washer”. 

Just try fitting that into your little box Mr. Bank Manager!

Bessie....

It seems our boys have a new playmate, a new friend for life.  She has helped them settle in more than we could have done.  She is full of energy, patience and very gentle with them, in fact I think placid would be a good word to use for her.  She is Bessie, my sister’s 2 year old dog.  Now don’t go thinking of a wee little 2 year old puppy dog.  Oh no, this little 2 year old is a big, bouncing puppy dog.  There have been many incidents of “Bessie has pushed me over” or “Naughty Bessie” as Son no 2 has been hit in the face by her very excitable tail.  But all in all they just pick themselves up and carry on laughing and playing with her.

Since the day we arrived they have not left her side, every waking moment is spent running round with her, playing ball or making up imagery games where she is inevitably sat on.  Okay, so that may be where the placid may be bordering on dumb as she keeps going back for more!  But while it may be just games for my boys, she in her doggie way is teaching them some valuable lessons in life, friendship, respect, loyalty and of course love.  That true steadfast kinda of love, the kind that doesn’t matter what or who you are or do, they will always be there for you. 

So while I go and do “Poo Patrol” to avoid any nasty accidents with bare feet I leave you with this poem by Edgar Guest.  I think it sums it all up....

A Boy and His Dog

A boy and his dog make a glorious pair:

No better friendship is found anywhere,

For they talk and they walk and they run and they play,

And they have their deep secrets for many a day;

And that boy has a comrade who thinks and who feels,

Who walks down the road with a dog at his heels.

He may go where he will and his dog will be there,

May revel in mud and his dog will not care;

Faithful he'll stay for the slightest command

And bark with delight at the touch of his hand;

Oh, he owns a treasure which nobody steals,

Who walks down the road with a dog at his heels.

No other can lure him away from his side;

He's proof against riches and station and pride;

Fine dress does not charm him, and flattery's breath

Is lost on the dog, for he's faithful to death;

He sees the great soul which the body conceals--

Oh, it's great to be young with a dog at your heels!

So here we are......

So hello there, yes it’s been a while hasn’t it? 

We are now 3 weeks back to being in New Zealand, slowly getting settled and so far so good...

The flight over wasn’t too bad with the boys, all 29 hours of it!  Never underestimate the power of Chupa Chups lollipops and Cars 2.  The first kept them entertained during the all so tedious checking in and security process. Of course much more were demanded for takeoff and landing.  The latter kept them entertained on the flight, in between eating (more sweets and chocolate, they didn't want any of the airline food!) and sleeping they were glued to their little screens.  It didn’t matter that Son No 2 couldn’t get to grips with the head phones so just spent the time watching it with no sound.  He was happy so we were happy.

Once we got here the first two weeks were spent travelling around the country visiting family, so more flights and Chupa Chups for the boys.  Perhaps, now thinking about it, the overload of sweets may of been the cause of Son No 1 couple of bouts of air sickness?  We also had a bit of an eating frenzy, eating everything that we missed while in the UK.   The boys it seems have already slipped into the laidback lifestyle here, playing in the surf at various beaches, eating ice creams and running around in bare feet seems quite normal for them now.

Needless to say the visiting and feeding frenzy is now over and we are now getting some sense of normality back into our lives.  Mr P has started work; Son No 1 is in school which is a bloody godsend even if it is only for 4 weeks until its summer holidays over here.  He was getting quite unbearable and annoying, does that make me a bad mother saying that? No, just honest I think, as there is nothing quite like a bored 5 year old to tip you over the edge!  Even he wanted to start school.  I have even managed to find a childminder to look after Son No 2 for a couple of days a week so I can get some much needed me time.  Some time to think about what I am going to do now.  You know those questions that always seem to be lurking in the back of your mind.  Do I work, if so part time or full time work?  Do I do some courses instead?  Can I really be bothered to join a gym?  Should i sneak off and have another cream donut?   Or is it just me that thinks these things?

In the meantime I have a much neglected blog that needs some loving and need to find us a home before we drive my sister and her partner around the bend.....

"Walking thru an empty house, tears in my eyes...... This is where the story ends"

My dearest London,

The time has finally come to say goodbye. Our home is no more, all it's content packed up and ready to be shipped. Every room empty now, filled only with echoey silence, no sign that it used to be our home.

What can I say, its been a blast my old friend. From being a gateway to Europe for all our travels. To the dodgy pubs and clubs I have crawl out of at some ungodly hour. From fine dining to the old faithful local greasy spoon. To the great shopping on the High street, from cheap as chips, designer stuff, M&S food and underwear. I will miss all of this. To providing me with the excellent care to allow me to have our two gorgeous boys. To, of course, all the great people I have met and the good friends I have made, I will miss you all so much.

So thank you London for making the last decade, my thirties a truly memorable time.

Of course it hasn't always been good, there will be things that I will definitely not miss. From the snow, god how I hate the snow. How the whole city, no country, grounds to a halt is
beyond me! To the endless football coverage, dodgy summers, overcrowded tubes, tourist packed streets. No I won't miss them at all.

So yes I will miss you dear old London but as the song goes "this is where our story ends".

So now on to the next chapter and to whatever it may bring.


Yours truly



Frankie P xx