Postcard from Cyprus..

This will be my last post for two weeks as we are off on a family holiday tomorrow to Cyprus with another family we know.  Hmmm, 5 children from 2 years to 5 years and a set of twins thrown into the mix as well..  Should be fun!

Well I say we are off, we will be as long as the ash cloud stays clear of Gatwick!!

I may be able to pop in and out to check some blogs but if not, I look forward to catching up on them when I get back.

Enjoy the mid term break..  Remember to be good, and if you can't be good, be careful.

Ciao x

Silent Sunday

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This is harder than I thought...

It’s almost 3 months since I stopped work and I have to say it is all still feels a bit weird for me and I am still struggling with it all.  The struggle I have is not with looking after the boys, which it is fair to say not always a smooth run, but the struggle is with me.

I wrote in my first post about why I stopped working and how important work is to me as a person.  When I got made redundant I made the decision to stop working to be with the boys, while we decide as a family what we are going to do.  In other words, do we stay or do we go, but that is another long story!  I know that I am in an enviable position compared to a lot of mums and dads who would like to be able to be at home with their children.   I know that eventually I will go back to work, and that whatever happens my family will come first....

So where is the struggle you may ask?  To answer that honestly would be to say “is this it”!  I know I may not make myself popular about saying this but I just feel something is missing, a bit unfulfilled perhaps, if that is the word?  In not working? Being at home? I’m not sure.  Don’t get me wrong, my days are busy with the boys and all the other stuff that needs to be done but I do have moments when I just think to myself “really is this it”, that this isn’t enough for me.  If you asked me whether I loved being at home with the boys I would have to think about it, and most probably say ‘Yes’.  But really deep down inside me I think the answer would be ‘No’.  I don’t love it but I do enjoy it.  I like being there when they need their mummy, seeing my youngest reach development milestones that I missed with my eldest as I was working. 

But just because I am a mum does that mean I should just naturally fall happily into this role that family\friends\society dictates for me?  Is it because I was brought up surrounded by strong female role models who had worked or were working that I have this need to do so myself.  Am I just trying to prove to them and to the rest of the world that yes I can do and have it all?  Or do I, as a wise friend has said, need to give it a bit more time? 

So does admitting what I feel, make me a bad mum or even a bad person? 

Surely I am not the only other mum (or dad) that feels or felt like this?  I can’t be the only one that finds it a struggle?  For me being a mum is only part of the whole person I am.

Our Unconventional Pet

We have a new pet it seems.  He is not your usual pet.  He lives in the dark and is only allowed out by mummy and daddy. 

They take him out when we are asleep as we want to play with him all the time.  This makes mummy and daddy ever so angry as he is supposed to be playing with them.  They tell us when we are older we can play with him as much as we want.

He doesn’t eat much and is ever so tidy.

If we are lucky to be up when he is out we can’t wait to play with him.  We pat him, we stoke him.  We even pull his tail or lead him by his nose.

When it is time for him to go back to bed we give him a farewell hug.  And if he has been good we may even give him a kiss.

“Night night ‘enry”

Love F & C xx

Silent Sunday

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FlashBack Friday - Before and After

For this week’s Flashback Friday over at Cafe Bebe, Karin has put a theme of Before and After on it.  So it got me thinking of what I could do and then it dawned on me. 

I am going to take you back 5 years almost to the day, when I was very heavily pregnant with Son No 1.

So here is the Before.  My 39 weeks bump picture, this was taken the night before I went in to be induced.  Pretty impressive bump don’t you think, there was a 9 pounder hiding in there.

Here is the After, taken last week when we went into London to see his daddy for lunch..

Tomorrow we are having his 5^th birthday party, it’s a cliché but I really don’t know where all that time has gone.  Even with my youngest the time just seems to be flying by, which when it comes to my youngest might not be a bad thing!

 When I look at this slightly cautious, stubborn, bad temper but gorgeous, cheeky, funny, loving, bright little boy I can’t help but think “Yeah he’s just like his mum”

For more great Flashback Friday memories pop yourself over to Cafe Bebe...

Agreeing with Boris....??

Now is fair to say that I am not a Boris Johnson fan (Mr P is which sums him up really) and I generally do not agree with him or his policies.  But I have to say his latest legislation proposal in that there should be a strike vote threshold before industrial action can take place makes absolute sense.  This of course centers on the RMT and their threat of a weeklong strike next week which thankfully now has been called off.

Figures were released yesterday that only 11% of the London Underground’s 3429 drivers voted for the strike action.  In an additional ballot of Bob Crow’s members only 46% turned out to vote!  Of the 46% only 379 voted for strike action.  Now you don’t have to be a mathematically genius to work out that this strike action was not agreed upon by the majority of the union members.  Therefore, why should a small number of members hold such power over the other union members plus the people of London?

David Cameron does not seem to keen to back Boris up either as he has not given any indication whether he is going to do something about it.  Perhaps he is trying to appease the Lib Dems who do not what to see changes made.   Surely with all the infighting within the coalition someone can see that Boris has got a good point here.  Especially with the London Mayoral elections next year can they not see how advantageous legislation like this would be for their campaign?  

It has been estimated that the last tube strike cost London £50 million a day, affecting well over 1 million users, surely in this hard economic times the government should be trying to do what they can to stop militant unionists from holding the city and its people to ransom.

A Tory mayor, a Tory lead government, a chance to begin to break the most militant unions in the country, a chance to back Ed Miliband into an uncomfortable position to support the unions (who got him the leadership) or not… what would Maggie T do?

Disclaimer: I don't vote Tory...

My Hellish Trip..

I noticed that for this month’s BMB Carnival over at Me, the Man & The Baby the theme is “Travelling with kids”.  So as I have done a fair bit of travelling I thought I would rack my brains for something to share with you.  So this is all about my hellish trip from 2009. 

In August that year we got the opportunity to go back to NZ.  We thought we would take it especially as Son No 2 was only 4 months old at the time so it would be a chance for the family to meet him.  The trip out was pretty uneventful, just the usual bother that flying long haul with children brings.  We finally got to Wellington without the loss of any toys, luggage, and children and thankfully our sanity still intact.

For the 3 weeks we were there I had what I thought was a really bad head cold.  I was taking a lot of cold and flu tables had a permanent high temperature, a hacking cough with night sweats thrown in for good measure.  But typically like any mum I just got on with it.  Well you do don’t you?  We had people to see and places to go plus the boys needed to be looked after.  Mr P was even thoughtful enough to go and visit friends for a couple of nights since it was only a cold!

Because I couldn’t shift it I decided I should go to the doctors as I didn’t really want to travel feeling like, well ‘shit’ to be honest.  The doctor wasn’t impressed that I had left it so long especially as I had travelled from the UK where there was the big swine flu outbreak!  Remember that?  He sent me off for chest x-rays and blood tests and it turned out I had ‘Pneumonia’ and advised against travelling back to the UK until it was all cleared.

So after lengthy and somewhat heated “discussions” with Mr P it was decided that he would go back with Son No 1 and I will travel back a week later with Son No 2.  A week later I was given the all clear to fly and that is when the fun really began.

You hear these fantastic stories of people travelling alone with children and the help you get.  Well that certainly didn’t happen for me.  I had a 5 month old who liked to have a cry before settling to sleep, which is okay when he is in his cot, with his door closed, but on a plane full of people staring at you it’s not.  So I had to hold him for the majority of the flights.  The air hostesses were less then helpful considering I was flying with an airline that is supposed to be the “friendliest in the sky”.  I had one offer of help and that is when I boarded.  Eating and going to the toilet was near impossible while holding a sleeping baby.  I even had to put him on the floor of the air tunnel when it came to collapsing the stroller before getting on the plane as no one was around to help.  Likewise when it came to collecting it once we landed.  I was even told at one point that they weren’t allowed to take the baby. Health and Safety reasons I assume!  With a six hour stopover in Singapore I decided to book a room so we could try and sleep.  Of course we had to go to one of the other terminals for it!  Heathrow was no better, struggling with two bags plus baby and stroller while porters stood by watching or zooming round in their little buggies.  I was so knackered that by the time I saw our cabbie I just burst into tears.  Which for me is something i don’t normally do?

So I left on a Friday night and arrived the following Saturday night in London, all up it took 38 hours door to door including a 6 hour stopover in Singapore.  Of course MR P maintains to this day that his trip home was worse than mine, yeah right!

I must have lost my sanity on that trip because I did it all again the following January. 

Silent Sunday

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“I don’t want that!” - Fussy Eating!

Being a relatively new full time mum one of the many things I am having trouble with is food. Or to be more accurate the refusal of eating anything that is given to Son No 1 to eat, be it homemade or brought.

While I was working it was all too simple. The nursery took care of all his meals so when I got him home all he needed would be a yogurt or piece of toast. I would get his day sheet; they would wax lyrical on what a fantastic eater he was and how often he asked for seconds. Well, I am not sure whether they got my little boy confused with another child or not but that little boy is certainly not the one I have at home. Over the last few months with him having started school things have continued to escalate.

Now, I admit I am no domestic goddess in the kitchen but I do think I can put together rather tasty meals for us all, with no complaints from the other two in the house. But with Son No 1, I have tried everything, eating together, bribery, M&S kids’ meals as he used to love these, cooking with him, letting him choose what to eat and nothing seems to work. Don’t get me wrong some days he will eat everything put in front of him but the next he won’t or I will cook a meal I know he has eaten before and he will refuse it. His best excuses are “don’t like the smell”, “sore tummy”, “it will make me sick” or “it’s not what I wanted or meant”. The worse days are the days he will just walk up to the table look at it and tell me he doesn’t like it and then walk away! There has been tears (both of us) shouting (both of us) and even door slamming (him).

My friends all tell me that this is normal and I have seen similar behaviour in some of their kids. Mr P thinks he is just a “snacker” and a “grazer” so he is happy for him to eat when he wants and more often than not will let him eat what he wants as well. This in turns makes me mad! Husbands, no idea!

So I am beginning to think I have the problem and not Son No 1. Perhaps I am expecting too much and that this is perfectly normal behaviour? Perhaps with his jaw problem I am getting too stressed that he is not eating enough and getting too skinny.

Perhaps I just need to chill out about it and find some coping strategies of my own to deal with it. Other than a big glass of wine.

Any advice welcomed....

Ill Fated love affair

It was the summer of 2010 and although I had seen you about and thought “yeah I could have that” nothing more had crossed my mind. But that summer it all changed. I knew that I wanted, no needed you, that my life would be complete with you. The more I saw you when I was out and about that desire for you grew more and more. I decided my husband need not know who or what you were.

Then a chance meeting on Marylebone High Street, I grabbed you and we disappeared into our own private room. We got close, I began to undress and then the realisation struck me...

Bollocks, Bollocks.... F**king Bollocks..!! You have skinny legs, I have chunky calves, surely this doesn’t mean that I am not meant to have you? How did I not see this before we got into the room? I can’t get you off, you are firmly stuck, I am panicking, doing the penguin walk, what am I to do? Then two becomes three as I struggle to take you off, I call my friend in to help. We tug and tug trying to be careful that you don’t rip; blood is drawn as we undo the zips to see if that helps. But it doesn’t.

Finally after what seems like hours, we emerge from the room, hot, sweaty and slightly embarrassed. Giggling, I get that knowing look from the other women in the shop. I have one last moment with you then I put you back knowing that we were never meant to be.

But you will always be in my thoughts x

Silent Sunday